Monday, May 21

Tag - I'm It

7 things you may or may not know about me:

1. When I get bit by mosquitoes I swell quite a bit. They are insanely itchy. Last week I raked my lazy landlady's leaves. In an effort to be nice, even when she's not. I got a lot of bites. They've been itchy. Driving me nuts. To ease myself I have a ritual that I do to my bites. I first mark an x on them with my finger nail. I push really hard really long. Then I spit on my finger and rub my spit on the bite and then I blow on it. Ahhhhh nice and cool. This beats scratching the crap out of them till they becomes a scab that I can't stop picking. In the end, my oven broke down and my landlady was a hag about it. As I walked past the giant bags of leaves that will be there for months cause she won't clean those up either. I slit two of the bags with my keys and proceeded to my car. So now when she tries to move them the bags will give out underneath and old moldy leaves will spill out. Ahhhhh satisfaction.

2. I like revenge. I see nothing wrong with it. It makes me feel good.

3. I have a pair of runners I bought in Spain that I still haven't worn. I love them but I'm not sure if they suit me and if I can pull them off. Here they are....




4. I have this obsession with hippie clothes. I love the flowing white dresses, the lacy tanks, the long dresses the soft skirts and the pattern shirts. As I walk past them in stores I slide my hand across them. Sometimes, I go try them on and remember why I can't wear them. I look like a knob. I look uncomfortable and awkward. But I still try. These are a small portion of my purchases that I don't wear. I've stopped buying them and have learnt my lesson but I still can't seem to part with them. I am determined that once I grow my hair out they will work for me. And I can look care free, light and soft like the breeze is blowing me through life and my natural nature beauty is all I require to get me through.




5. I still have last years calendar up by my computer. Many times I will look at it out of habit, and totally screw myself up thinking the day is something completely different than what it really is. I like the pictures on it. So, I leave it up. And who cares if the 21st is actually a Monday and not a Sunday? Not me.

6. I listen to incredibly depressing music when I'm at home. I'm typically always alone and I like it. And I drown in it with depressing lonely music. I find it comforting. In some backwards way, it cheers me up. Currently, I'm listening to 9 Crimes by Damien Rice.

7. On my paper route there is this guy who all winter didn't shovel. Now he's trimmed his hedges and have left them all over the sidewalk. He also parks so it's impossible to get to where I drop off his paper. So, I have to cram myself in between the shrub and his car. In the winter I would slip and fall lots. It always ticks me off. When I go past his car on the way back to the street I move his side mirror so every time he drives he has to adjust it. I don't know why, but annoying him the way he annoys me with the parking and the shovelling and the shrubs makes me feel better. Has something to do with #2 above. I know, reeaaaaal mature. But man it feels so good.

That's it. There you go.

21 comments:

d said...

I...
have learned MUCH.

footsack said...

I also do that with my mosquito bites. Except the spit part. Weird!
I also love hippy cloths (some of them) and if I were 20 years younger, I'd wear them.

melanie said...

I love hippie clothes, and they are a major reason as to why I want to have kids. Pregnant women look adorable in hippie outfits.

I also love damien rice.

Those shoes are to die for. I wouldn't care if you could pull them off. I'd wear them anyway. No one will look at your outfit, just the shoes.

Becky said...

The shoes are weird and you would look weird in them.

I am loving the side mirror adjusting and am planning to use it in the near future. I don't know on who, so no one tick me off or it could be you.

Smarmy Boss said...

I call BS on your landlord stuff. You volunteered to help her because she threw her back out and looked pathetic trying to mow the lawn.

Admit you have a soft heart. You'll be better for it. Plus it gels with your listening to depressing music while you're home alone.

I think you could pull those shoes off but only with certain outfits. I will volunteer to help you in this endeavor.

Adjusting some guys mirror every morning is the sort of gesture that I love about you, so stick to your niche of moderately annoying and leave pure malicious assholery to people like me.

Becky said...

LOL. Just this ONCE, I agree with Smarmy.

Christine said...

I love Hippy cloths. Ask your father. Last summer I spent a lot of time on the island looking for Hippy cloths. I even draged him to Spring side (Hippy haven of Canada) I didn't have much luck. Good Hippy cloths are hard to come by. If I wore those shoes I would fall and hurt myself. I also do that with mosquito bites. Doesn't everybody? Have you got any answers from the red hatters?

Krystal said...

Man, those shoes are SWEEEETTTT!!! Wish I could get a pair like those.

Becky said...

Those shoes are not sweet. They are freakish. Don't encourage her, I'm the one who has to take her out in public.

Avaelyn said...

Those sneakers are KILLER! I love them. I'd totally wear them. You should, too.

I put the X's in my mosquito bites, too, but I've never tried spitting and blowing on them. I may have to try. Or maybe ice? I don't know.

Smarmy Boss said...

X's are perfectly sufficient for mosquito bites.

Slobbering on yourself? What's next, Urine?

Margaret said...

I have always put an X on mosquito bites. A little saliva also helps. I think that as long as you make it your own it's OK. The mirror thing is exactly what I would do. I think I might take it a little farther and one morning I would stack all his clippings from the hedge and put them on the front step on top of his paper.

Carol said...

Sweet shoes. And I hate mosquito bites, so I use calamyn(sp) lotion, or Afterbite. They really work

Avaelyn said...

Wow. Lots of us do the X thing with our mosquito bites. And I'm pretty sure it's calamine lotion, Mom. You have to let us know what happens when your landlord tries to pick up those bags of leaves. Oh yes. It will be hilarious. *rubs hands together* Revenge is sweet. It tastes like candy.

leah braun said...

i love the shoes. i don't care if becky hates them, i think you should wear them! and yes, i do the x thing too, it must be a braun thing

Smarmy Boss said...

Its not a Braun thing. Its a legitimate prairie thing that was likely passed to us from wise cree healers.

John said...

Come on already. How old is this post.

Trav said...

i was your 6,666th visitor.... is this a sign??

Smarmy Boss said...

6666 has no signficance eventhough it seems like it should.

Avaelyn said...

*pokes you* Okay, now I'M it. Now you have to post about something else. 'Cause you're not it, anymore. And letting people see that title there when you aren't... well, that's like LYING.

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