Tuesday, November 7

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words

This is the garage that I am supposed to be parking my car in. My landlady is a twit and can't seem to get it cleared out. I'm supposed to be able to park in here for the winter. I’m also supposed to have storage space in the garage too but that hasn’t happened. This morning I had to scrape the ice off my car and I silently cursed her the whole time. Although, she is quick to jump on the fact that once since I've moved in she had a cold shower because I accidentally turned the water on, and I left some lint in the dryer trap and once I left a piece of cardboard trash outside my door for over a day. This was brought to my attention after I went up to talk to her about the mess she left in my bathroom after she took my ceiling down and proceeded to puddy a hole that she has been "working" on since I moved in. I also wanted to know what was happening with my place and when things would be done and if it was all going to be cleaned up after she left her mess. She had no answer but she had a few things to cluck about. Today the ceiling is back up with out the trim of course, nothing has been done about the puddy and the sanding and the painting, the garage is still a mess and she has made no attempt to get it done. I also had to clean up the whole entire mess. After a day of silence on Saturday night with my bathroom full of plastic and tools and puddy sanding dust. I realized nothing was going to get done because she wasn’t even home. So I grabbed it all and threw it in the hallway. This stress put an end to the relaxation I felt after I went for my first therapeutic massage. I cursed her some more. I kept saying in my head “Angela, there is no reasoning with stupid people. They will never see the common sense” In case you haven't noticed my landlady is borderline crazy. She seriously came down and knocked on my door one day and accused me of hiding Kad at my house and pretending he wasn't living there for free because we had traded vehicles. She assumed he was living there because I was driving his vehicle. And she wasn’t one of “those” women (she actually lifted her fingers, made quotations and I still don’t get it) who just lets people take advantage of her. I explained to her that this was not the case and that his jeep is in front of my house because he is driving my car. I think she is strange. The garage is supposed to be open for my use. It is stated in my lease but I still can't seem to find the space to park in there. Unless I drive really fast and ram my car into all the crap. She also mentioned she has a mice problem in her garage. I can’t imagine how. There are no little nooks to hide in. In response to her lack of motivation, I plan to run a cord along the middle of the sidewalk out to my car and see if she gets the hint. I know it will annoy her to no end. I hope when she comes to confront me about the cord I can slam in her face that the cord wouldn't be there if I parked in the garage. This is a fine example of my passive aggressive behavior. She also started hammering at 10pm on a Friday night on the wall in the furnace room. I have a shelf in my living room with breakables on it. She actually hammered so hard that it knocked off my candleholders. She heard them crash down and didn’t even knock to see what she had done. If there was some way I could beat her to a pulp without actually being held accountable I might consider it. Or, at least pay someone else to do it for me. I don’t want any offers from Drinkatite. You can let your aggression out somewhere else little man. Now I’m completely paranoid about going up there and asking when the garage is going to be cleaned out for fear that she might accuse me of waking her up in the middle of the night because I flushed the toilet or that my summa borscht that I made last night smells too dilly for her taste. Oh, it is so hard not to run water when she is running water. The temptation to do something annoying is like putting a steak on the counter and leaving Rosco alone for 20 seconds. I have a plan for revenge already bouncing around in my little brain for when I move out. I’m almost positive this is not a “legal” suite. And I’m pretty sure one can have it inspected at anytime and the landlord would have to make proper adjustments to make it legal. If she actually had to do that much reno it would take her 10 years. I don’t want to hear about how mean that would be. I run situations in my head all the time and it makes me feel better. Whenever I have confrontations like this with people I stew and think about things I should have said and things I wish I didn’t say and how the next conversation will go. I definitely regret being so nice to her in the first place and trying to make things all happy and joyous. I wish I would have just slapped the lease in her face and walked away and told her to clean up her mess and didn’t listen to her talk about dryer lint. And I wish I didn’t apologize for the dryer lint. I’m so ashamed of my backbone.

I plan to start knitting for the holiday season. I want to make some mittens and slippers for people. I always start projects but never finish them. It’s really frustrating. But I have all this yarn and haven't done a thing with it. Mostly my motivation stems from the fact that this tub takes up valuable storage space. Space that I wouldn’t worry about if the garage was cleaned out. If I could knit all this yarn I would have more space. As you can see in the background my tree is set up. I went and purchased some presents at Toy's r Us over the weekend for Ben and Noah. I came home all excited on Sunday and decided to get ready. I unpacked the tree and hung some lights. Libby and Shyla just love the tree. Libby loves to sit by it and under it. Shlya loves to eat it. So far I've cleaned up puke that contained saliva and green pieces of tree twice. I also bought a box of mandarin oranges and ate a candy cane from last year that was mixed in with the lights. I still can't decide if that's gross. Who cares? I was happy and I was feelin it. I also turned on some downloaded Christmas music. My favorite song of all time is Carol of the Bells. There are some fantastic versions. I also love to rock out to Boney M and I did listen to Bob and Doug's famous 12 Days of Christmas. Although, I didn't drink a beer and it wasn't in a tree. I intend to download the new Sarah McLachlan Christmas CD. Another tid bit that you should know is that Kad eats mandarin orange peels. It’s really quite gross. He boasted about how every year at Christmas he does a demonstration for people and sticks a whole unpeeled mandarin orange in his mouth and eats it. This made me gag just to think about it. I will never look at an orange peel the same again. Just think, you might be the lucky one to see this display of pure talent. It’s so nice in my living room now. I turn out the lights and sit on the couch, eat some spits, drink some iced tea, watch some crappy show on CBC and look over at my tree with 150 tiny little lights and it makes me happy. Who would think that a 2 dollar tree bought at a Yorkton garage sale could bring one so much joy? Well, it can. Many things from garage sales can bring pain as well. I also bought that day a coaster and serving tray set. I’m not sure why I thought they were so cool at the moment because after I brought them home and left them in my cupboard for a long time they revolted me. These coasters had squished butterflies in them. Real bugs. Who would want to take a piece of cheese bit and a pickle off a serving tray with a squished butterfly underneath a piece of plastic? A bug being separated by less than a cm barrier of cheep plastic from your food. I also bought a fantastic wine rack that was a pretty shade of purple. I bought a can of brown spray paint and it looks awesome now. If you think I am rambling on and on and this post is getting really boring, you are correct. I am trying to think of a thousand words to go with this picture and I feel like giving up. In fact, I almost gave up after the first picture was complete and I wrote a thousand words. You can go back and count if you want but your effort will be pointless. I have persevered and I’m now at 636 words. Now 639. I had this big idea at work today and thought it would be really easy. It’s not. I have nothing more to write and definitely nothing more to add to this picture. So, there you go. The statement isn’t true after all. Sometimes a picture doesn’t speak a thousand words. Sometimes it only speaks 694.


Becky said...

Okay. That is officially my favorite post. Sometimes its only 694. Frickin awesome. Other highlights for me were when you called Trav little man. And the part about not being one of "those" people. Oh yeah... And the butterflies. You were so happy with them. And I was like, "Why is she buying those? Is she really buying those?" Ohhhhhh man... My stomach hurts. They have bugs in them!!!!! BUGS! BUGS!!!!

I need a smoke.

Carol said...

You got your Christmas tree up already? I may have to put up ours, purchase a present for Kyle, and then call him. Then tell him we have our tree up, and there is a present under there for him. He is like a 2 yr old when it comes to Christmas, especially once there is a gift under the tree that has his name on it. He can't stand it, you can almost see him squirm.

Smarmy Boss said...

I have to say that I really hate the Boney M xmas tape.

I know all children have happy warm memories of christmas and I'm no different, but my mom played that record to death and I loathed every moment.

One day I took the cassette and destroyed it, and threw it in the garbage. My mom doesn't know what happened to it. She thinks she took it to work an lost it.

One day when they have those Mother's Day come clean to your mom things on the radio. I'm going to call her and confess.

footsack said...

If I was you, I'd move. I couldn't stand to live with someone like that upstairs.
Once you do move, I would report her to the rentals board about the suite. I don't think that's nasty at all.

Melanie said...

ah mom, of course you don't. Don't worry Ang, Robyn isn't allowed to walk in bare feet in her apartment. The landlady saw her doing it and told her that the natural oils in her feet will wear out the carpet.
Shoes would do the same, I imagine, so socks only, and no wool, much too rough. That woman's a quack. Maybe she and your landlady are related. Everyone's related to someone in Saskatchewan. I agree with Becky, great post.

donna said...

I think I want to come and live we you Ang. We could have some fun.
Although.. your cats would drive me crazy.

donna said...

'with' you.. live 'with' you..
apparantly I can't spell tonight.

Toad said...

To think, the only thing that is keeping us apart is my cats. If I only could have seen into the future I would have never had them. So close, yet so far. I'm going to go fill the tub now and drop a toaster in it.

Auntie Sue said...

That picture of the Garage looks lik a couple of rooms in my basement. I need to dejunk. It is time. I think I will make it my before Christmas project.
Nice tree Ang. We might put ours up while Cindi and Chloe are here. I am soo happy that they are coming out. I already have gifts for Chloe. What fun.