Disappointment With Blogging
I think I'm sick of blogging. Not really sick of blogging just kinda sick of censoring my blog because everyone reads it. So today I wanted to write something but decided against it because it would be far to personal for people to read. So where can I write these things? Start a whole new blog that no one knows and keep this one like a broadcast news station that basically just updates people on little things that happen and that's it. Its really frustrating to me sometimes and I get annoyed. I'm a pretty private person and there are only a few people I talk to on a regular basis that know lots about me and even then sometimes I can't say the things I want to say. I sometimes come off as a cold person I think to lots of people because I don't share a lot. I don't miss people and I'm really not good at keeping in touch with people. I never get mad at people when they don't call me or keep in touch with me. Its not that I don't care its just that for me time flys by so fast that I just don't think to call. Example: Mike, I never call Mike. Actually we hadn't talked since like early March until about a few days ago. And he called saying sorry for not calling. Why say sorry when I haven't called either? Fact is that the thought just never crossed my mind. Not that I don't like Mike, I dig him. Same with Jonny and Melissa, I don't call much especially when they were in Winnipeg. I feel really bad for this a lot like maybe they will think I don't like them as much or something. It's really something I should try and improve upon or else I might end up pretty alone. I call Becky lots, we talk more than anyone I know. I think its because we are sisters and understand things easy without even having to say anything. I like things easy, I don't like it when things are complicated and hard. I hate confrontation. Lots of the time I like to be alone. I don't like socializing very much. I know lots may think quite the opposite but once I have it in my head that I don't want to see anyone I get really grumpy when I have to. And if I am around a lot of people for too long I get grumpy and have to go off on my own. It's not that I'm cold or I hate people I just have to do it. Not many people understand this about me except Becky and Jo. They can see it and they know and understand and I don't have to worry about hurting feelings or some mixed message when I say I just want to be alone. Its simple.
Back to my frustration. This is one small thing I can write about on here. That's about as personal as I get. The true things in my head I keep to myself. It bothers me. I think maybe I will just write the posts but leave them as drafts and not publish them. Of course my sister knows my password but I don't think I really care if she knows cause I probably tell her anyways. So maybe that's my solution. I'm way to lazy to make a whole new blog...cause I like things simple.
9 comments:
I have a secret blog.
THAT SOUNDS HOT.....TELL ME MORE.
actually ang... that's what i do too... i've got my family blog... the one that's censored and all that... and then the one that only my real close friends know about and that one has everything on it... i think it's a good idea... not everyone needs to know every little detail of what's going on in your life... i say good on you
I think that's a good idea too. I know the part about wanting to be alone sometimes, too.
Ang, Tye is a lot like that. He almost never misses anyone. He could be alone for days and never think to call anyone. He does like to talk when he is around people, but if he isn't around people, he doesn't miss anyone. When Grandma and Grandpa were here and stayed with us for the month and then left I missed them a lot. Jack did a little less than me, but Tye said he had never really missed anyone. I think the only time he really missed someone was when our dog Katy died. He really did miss her and still does at times even though she died 2 years ago. So in a way I do understand you.
I'm the same way. I spent forever on a blog the other day, and it was up for about a half hour, then I deleted it all. I write a lot about some things, and then others are just too personal and honestly, not anyone's business. I also keep a journal though, so that I have a place to write all the stuff that I don't want everyone to know. It's usually just how I process stuff in my life.
Holy crap, it sounds like you just described me to a freakin' T. Are you sure you're not reading my mind?
Anyway, to be serious, though. I'm EXACTLY the same way. I'm not a very social person, and I don't have many close friends. If I get invited to something, I'll be happy to go (unless I REALLY wanted to be alone), but I never actually feel the need to go out. I have friends that I never call, and I never email or anything. Sometimes it bothers me, but sometimes, it just doesn't. I forget to call people until it's too late. It makes me sound heartless, but although I love my friends, I don't really miss people like other people miss me. It's alright if you don't want to share everything on your blog, I don't. I don't write everything on mine, the really private things end up going in one of my many notebooks. And only one person has ever read what I write in there. Sometimes I wish I could share everything that's in there, just let everyone know who I really am and what I really think, but most of the time, I don't really care too much. That's what I do.
Dude... sorry about the long comment.
Ang,
I understand too. There are times that I like to be off on my own too. I was going to suggest a journal for your really personal stuff, but I see Melanie mentioned it also.
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