Blame The Bulge
“He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.”
Samantha Jones, Sex and the City
Tonight I'm playing in a hockey tournament out in Langham with work. I got lucky and found a friend (Thanks Moe) who is the same size as me. She lent me all her equipment. As she went through her bag and showed me everything, she saved the best for last. The "lady protector". Or as I so lovingly termed it last night, "the bulge". 
Here I am experiencing the bulge for the first time as I tried on my equipment. I was starting to feel quite manly, cocky, aggressive and ready for a fight. I say I look quite fantastic with my bulge. You really have to try it. There's nothing quite like the feeling of power that rushes through your veins.
Here I am checking it out. Ooo nice bulge!
So, tonight as I slip on my "lady protection" I'm going to feel the transformation into an aggressive take no bullshit hockey star. And anything that I do after that, I have completely decided that I have no control over it. If I swear, drink too much beer, belch, adjust myself and yell obscenities at the other team I'm just going to blame the bulge.
12 comments:
Awesome.
Leave the glasses on when you play. You can be a Femme' version of the Hansen brothers.
Who knew they made protection for Windy and the Vagina? LMAO
Hey, where did all your pics go for your previous blog. Here yesterday, gone today!! WTH!
Stupid blogger.
seriously i don't know. am frunk. wo cares? not me. i'm a hockey star. heh. windy......you need a new name. heh. am frink.
I think Ang already had too much beer. "am frunk. wo cares? not me" What the hell?
Nice bulge. I wanna... touch it.
Eeeeewwww Carrie!
I don't want to touch it nor do I want to put it on.
But way to go Ang. Hope you win!
girls shouldn't play hockey.
heck.
boys shouldn't even play hockey.
hockey is stupid.
did you play hockey?? even with the snowstorm?? just wondering 'cause it was ugly... and gross... it was brutal
I heard a story about you last night..
I'm wondering how long it will take you to get up this morning...
hmmmmm
Angela! Did you get drunk?
i don't drink.
i got up fine.
You don't drink milk you mean?
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