Friday, January 12

The Braun Christmas

At last my project is complete. I suppose I shouldn't use the term "at last". It only took me two nights of fiddling around. Here we go.



Expect more of these in the future. I've got some big ideas.

70 comments:

Melissa said...

Let me be the first to congratulate you on your creative masterpiece.

Let me also be the first to say...this is one of those things that only you and Becky will really appreciate, isn't it?

Donna said...

CUE STANDING OVATION!!!!
Oh my goodness.. I laughed outloud.

However.. I'm wondering why Becky still has a need to bust 'follies' expressions... she can't let those days go I guess!

Nice gun.
where do I get me one?

Quite enjoyed the interlude with the pickle licking.
that's hot.

Okay.. now I need to watch it again.
LOL

Toad said...

I suppose I should explain.

It is tradition to have christmas crackers at the table every year. Then we are all "supposed" to wear the crown during supper and the prizes make wonderful dinner conversation. This gun was the star of the show though. I must say that it rocked.

donna said...

We did those cracker things for the first time this christmas.... I got a pen. It didn't have invisible ink, or a lazer, nor could it inject someone with poison. no fun at all.
Not like that rocking gun.

So.. is it safe to assume you have this video posted at You Tube as well?

Toad said...

Yeah its up there.

Becky said...

Oh Donna,

Don't you know yet? The only reason I got that Patsy part is because I wasn't acting. I can't act. Thus, the dumb blonde expressions, and yes, the high squeeky voice were all-natural-100% Becky. So sadly, I really can't let those days go. I have no other expressions to draw on for an elaborate photo shoot like the one we had over our meal. Ask Ang.

Maybe I should take Carrie's (sp) acting class not for stage acting, but so that real life Becky will be much more interesting?

Becky said...

Hey. It's no longer available. Also... How come the opening shot is frozen on that gross close-up. It's making me lose my appetite.

donna said...

Becky...thanks for explaining things!
Now I understand!
I think you'd enjoy Carrie's class...
do it!
do it!
do it!
It starts next week!

donna said...

Sweet mother of pearl..
Anyone want to join me in the -15 degree garage to install the new opener???

I need to find flannel.. and tinfoil. I will wrap myself in it.. Then I'll be fine.

and rum.
MUST have rum.

donna said...

i-i-i-its-s-s-s
d-d-d-d-o-n-n-ne

Krystal said...

Just wanted to say... THAT ROCKED!!!!! :D

Avaelyn said...

Haha, that was sweet. My favorite part... the credits. Because then I felt like I was "in". I like being in.

Ja, those Moose bites Kan be pretti nasti.

Avaelyn said...

And I have an acting class I didn't even know about... that is sweet. So who else wants to sign up?

Sue said...

That was quite entertaining,Ang. Looks like you had a good time. I need to learn speed reading to get through the credits. I must be getting old or something!

Toad said...

What do you mean Carrie? You were always in.

Yes the credits go fast. If you want to pause and read you can. I can't read that fast. I wrote the credits first without thinking about how long they were and they needed to end with the music. I'll get it right next time.

Too bad you weren't here Donna. I would have been waiting for you inside with a blanket to warm you up. If you know what I mean.

Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

donna said...

I'm confused about who has the acting class...

Oh Ang.. I wouldn't take you up on the blanket. It was so cold that when I went to my drink, it was frozen. I think it was like -20 in there...
AAAAAAAAAH!
I feel like a full fledge Saskatchewan girl now...
just like my forefathers..
..JUST like the pioneers...

-insert moment of pride -


...on another note.. now that I have you all here..
I have a big decision to make...
and well... it could go either way...
so becky, Ang, Avaelyn... please just say 'yes' or 'no'... then I'll know what to do.

donna said...

spelling fix...
WOULD'VE taken you up.
WOULD'VE

sigh.

why am I always too cocky to use the 'preview'???

...gone to don spandex

Toad said...

Yes.

I'm a yes girl.

Yes.

Trav said...

i freaking loved the credits... i think we should start calling you monty... that might work actually... hmmm... good work monty... but yeah... i laughed my ass off....




and yes, i know the whole monty thing won't work unless becky starts calling you monty also... so... what do you think beck?

Becky said...

Donna: No.

Sorry Ang, the producers made me do it, something about increasing the ratings with a tense tie-breaker episode. Now we all have to tune in to here Carrie's vote. So exciting.

Cue: Survivor music.

Jeff Probst strides onto the stage. "Once the votes are read, the decision is final. Donna must comply with the decision of the tribal council. I'll read the votes."

The first vote: "Yes"

Cheers erupt from the studio audience. Donna smirks to herself. We can't be sure if she is satisfied or hiding painful disapointment.

The second vote: "No"

Moans and shrieks erupt from the audience. Close-up of Donna's stoic face. Show some emotion darn you!

Jeff: "That's one vote yes and one vote no. Let's read the last vote to determine the winner."

The third vote...

Becky said...

Spelling fix: HEAR Carrie's vote.
HEAR.

donna said...

oh my...
I'm going to burst..

"Jeff! HOLD ME!"

Becky said...

But you hide it so well.

donna said...

Jeff.. embraces Donna.. and they stand together, entwined, waiting, as their breath begins to quicken, and the pulsating lust between them begins to grow.

donna said...

"oh Relax Jeff! I'm already taken. And Besides.. I know your kind. The ones that use their celebrity to get the women. sheesh"

they stand.. holding.. just hands. And they wait for Carrie to step forward with her vote.

-cue tribal drums in rythmic beat-

Toad said...

The drummers hands begin to go numb. The croud starts to murmer....

"Where's Carrie?"
"These drummers can't go on forever."

Jeff and Donna have been holding hands so long a sweat drop falls to the floor. They release thier grasp and wipe off casually on their pants.

Becky said...

The audience begins to murmur, "This is taking suspense too far! What are we going to tell our babysitters?"

Jeff faints from the strain. Donna falls on her knees beside him and frantically whispers...

donna said...

"I don't think she's coming! Now what will I do!!! and.. I really need to go to the bathroom!"

Toad said...

(becky i've been trying to call you. no answer. are you avoiding me?)


Donna runs off stage to the washroom. She runs into the wrong one. Deciding she can't hold it any longer she uses the urinal. Carefully.

She runs back on stage.

Still, there is no sign of Carrie.

What will she do?

Becky said...

I think our phone might be turned off. Also, I was at walmart buying great big plastic bins for all of Ben's toys.

Say that five times fast... Bins for Ben's toys... Bins for Ben's boys... Bins for boys Ben's fins...

Toad said...

oh so i suppose you aren't going to call me then?

donna said...

GIRLS!
FOCUS ON THE STORY!
DONNA JUST PEED IN A FLIPPIN URINAL!
....for the love of god.
I can't work like this.

Becky said...

LOL.

Toad said...

Seriously, you read my comment....and respond and still not call me?

I'm sorry Donna.....

Donna stands alone.

Jeff starts bickering with the producers....

"If this show goes any later you are going to have to pay me overtime. I can't wait all night."

donna said...

As Donna waits again...
she begins to wonder...
'hmmmmm
where is Carrie?
why isn't she here?
Did she get whisked away by a tall dark stranger?
Did she finally take her spoon playing on her half-country tour?
Is she treating her home to an antibacterial treatment?
Did she suffer an injury while at her bikini wax this morning?
Is she stuck in traffic?
brushing her cat?
laying in a coma in a dark alley?
playing poker with dogs?
WHERE can she be?'

"I KNOW!" Donna Screams!
"Let's phone her and find what the problem is!"

Becky said...

Ghandi rushes in from offstage, his robe flapping behind him.

"I wanna rock!"

Wait. Wrong story...



Ghandi rushes in from offstage, his robe flapping behind him.

"Donna! Mother Tereasa just sent me a text message on the Iphone that Oprah sent me for Christmas. She says Carrie is at a hospice in Haiti. She contracted a rare virul infection serving poor and sick children. She's waiting for you. I don't know how much longer she can hold on! Hurry!"

Jeff takes Donna's hand and grabs the vote thingy as he rushes her out of the studio to the helicopter waiting nearby...

The Survivor theme continues to play as they run accross the helipad bent over in the wind as the blades begin to spin above their heads.

Donna cries, "My hair!"

Jeff grabs Donna and shakes her. "We have to think of Carrie now! We have to be strong for her!"

They climb into the helicopter and we watch as they disappear into the night sky...

donna said...

Several hours, and 3 bottles of wine later, the helicopter touches down in Haiti.
Jeff and Donna exit the chopper and set off in different directions.
"Come this way!" Jeff yells, running toward the limosine.

"No this way!" Donna says, running aimlessly around the tarmac.

"What are you doing?" Jeff asks.

"Aren't we going to go on a cool jet ski ride now? You always go on the jet ski! I WANNA GO ON THE JET SKI!"

Jeff gets in the limo, and they chase Donna down in the parking lot. This doesn't take long as she isn't in shape and has no stamina.

They proceed to the hospice.
They race to the door, only to be shushed by the Hindu monks who are running the hospice.

"We are here to see Carrie" Jeff says.

"Nice hair" Donna says with a giggle.

Jeff elbows her in the gut.

The Hindu monk, who is not amused, ushers them in to the building and instructs them to remove their shoes. A strange odor fills the air. Is it the tropical blend of plants that grow here? The exotic aroma of ancient incense?

No.. it would appear Jeff hasn't changed his socks in 3 days.

Finally, they come to Carrie's room...

Becky said...

Dang... This is getting good. I have to go to a birthday party. I'll be back though.

Avaelyn said...

Holy crap, you guys, I was just at work!! :D Dude. I freakin' LOVE being "in". But as being at work is lame and boring, and not nearly as cool as being in a hospital dying from contracting a rare virus... the story goes on...

Avaelyn said...

The monk points to the door and solemnly bows his head. Jeff and Donna look at each other anxiously, then push open the heavy door. Inside, it is dimly lit and sparsly furnished, with only a single stretcher in the middle of the small square room. Underneath the white sheet draped over the stretcher is the form of a body. The pair creeps anxiously closer to the stretcher, fearing the worst. Donna looks to Jeff, the fear and the question clear in her glistening eyes. Jeff nods, grasps the corner of the sheet and pulls it off to reveal what - or whom - is underneath.

Donna screams and recoils in disgust, and Jeff turns away and vomits in a bucket on the floor. The body underneath the sheet is indistinguishable. The skin is bubbled and appears to have melted; what is left of it is a sickly green color. In places, in appears the skin is missing, to reveal the muscle and bone underneath, parts of those also eaten away. The entire body is oozing and gives off an awful stench.

Jeff wipes his mouth and says to the monk, his voice cracking, "What happened to her?! What kind of virus could have done this?!"

The monk, who has been perfectly quiet and apparently unaffected by the recent happenings, raises an eyebrow questioningly. "'Her'? Do you not mean 'him'?"

"No!" Jeff exclaims. "I mean HER! Carrie! I'm looking for Carrie!"

"Oh. I apologize," the monk responds, bowing. "This is the wrong room. I thought you say "Gary". This man fell into a tub or corrosive acid. Carrie is further down still. I will bring you to her now." The monk pulls the sheet back over Gary, and motions the pair to follow him.

Avaelyn said...

Okay, I can't help it. I'm continuing.


The three walk further down the hall to the end and the monk points to the door on the right. Donna and Jeff walk in, and this time, to their delight, they see Carrie laying on the bed with a thin blanket over her. There are two chairs sitting conveniently to the left of the bed, and Carrie weakly motions them to sit. Donna sits closest to Carrie, and grasps her hand. The tears start to flow from the eyes of both women.

"Oh, Carrie, I can't believe that this has happened? What ever will I do without out you?"

"Donna," Carrie says, her voice a whisper, like soft wind blowing through the trees, "I know that it is hard, but you will go on. You will weave together beautiful tales of flight and fancy that will change people's lives. I have worked my life to change the world, and I will die doing it. Now, Donna, you must take over my place. Change people with your stories. It must be so. We are all connected in the great Circle of Life." Exhausted with the effort, Carrie loosens her grasp on Donna's hand and closes her eyes.

"I do not have much time left. Donna, there is a question you wish to ask me."

"Oh yeah. I just need to know... yes or no?"

"I knew what you would ask. I have long prepared my answer for you." Carrie pauses, taking in a shaky breath. "Donna, the answer...." Carrie's head drops and her hands go limp.

"No!" Donna wails. "We're too late!! If only we had come a couple minutes sooner!! If only we didn't spend all that time with Gary the gross acid guy. Now, I'll never know the answer, and I just don't know what I'll do."

Toad said...

(oooooo the suspense! Gold.)

Jeff stands up looking out the window. He's deep in thought.

He turns to Donna

"I've got it! You're friend is only "mostly" dead. Grab Carrie and follow me"

They rush the stretcher to the helicopter and Jeff speaks softly to the pilot.

"Are you sure you want to go there?"

"Yes, immediately we are running out of time."

They land in thick forest and come to a small hut. Jeff knocks in code. Donna is so confused but has always loved Jeff and trusts his judgment. After all, he is the host of Survivor.

The door opens to reveal Miracle Max. He looks down to see Carrie's body on a stretcher.

"Come in, I know what you seek."

Miracle Max begins to prepare a resurrection pill. His wife Valerie yells from the other room.

"You worthless piece of crap. You'll never amount to anything. Failure!"

He whispers...

"Just ignore her. She's still upset about Humperdinck firing me"

He gives her the pills and pumps air into her lungs.

Donna screams in her ear.

"Carrie can you hear me? I need to know.....Yes or no!"

Miracle Max presses gently on Carrie's chest. A raspy whisper comes out of Carrie. With a small smirk on her face she says....

"Let me sleep on it...baby baby let me sleep on it. Let me sleep on it, I'll give you and answer in the morning."


Donna yells

"I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Avaelyn said...

Donna stares hard at Carrie, willing an answer from her with her piercing glare. Carrie merely snores and drools slightly. Donna rolls her eyes and stomps out of the hut, disgruntled. How much longer am I going to have to wait?!, she thought to herself. This is getting really lame.

But then, just when she thought things couldn't get any lamer, Jeff bursts out of the hut and trots over to Donna. Donna, excited, turns around quickly and grasps Jeff's arms around his rippling biceps. "Is she awake?!"

"No." Jeff says. Donan releases her grasp, only to punch Jeff in the face. Jeff clasps a hand to his gushing nose and gives Donna a bewildered look. "What the heck was that for?!"

"Well, I don't want to hear anything unless she's awake and can answer my question. I'm so freaking frustrated I could just burst. So unless she's awake, or your finally going to take me on that jetski ride, go away."

Jeff takes a hand away from his nose to take out a small piece of paper from his pocket. "I have your answer. This was in Carrie's hand. Obviously, she thought she may die before she could give you an answer, so she wrote it down on this piece of paper." He shakes his head in wonderment. "Man, she thinks of EVERYTHING. She is soooo awesome!"

Donna stands there for a second, then pounces on Jeff, hissing and clawing to get at his hands to get the paper. "GIVE IT TO ME!!! GIVE IT TO ME, YOU BASTARD!!!!" Donna starts to foam at the mouth. "I NEED THE ANSWER!!!" Donna shakes her head, and the foam in the corners of her mouth splatters onto Jeff's forehead. He throws up.

Donna gets a hold of herself and stands up. "Man, you have a weak stomach."

Jeff stands up, wiping off his dusty clothes, foamy forehead and his vomit-covered chin. "Shut up. Anyway, you can't have the answer yet, because... we have to get back to the set! Oh man, the rating sare going to SKYROCKET after this." He jumps up and down like a schoolgirl who just got some fancy new nailpolish. "So let's go!" A cape and spandex magically appear on Jeff, as thrusts his fist into the air and proclaims triumphantly, "To the Probe-mobile!!"

He stands there, eyes gleaming, frozen except for his chest heaving in and out. Donna raises an eyebrow at him. "Ummm... don't you mean the Probst-mobile?"

"It would, except that's just too many consonants in a row."

"Ohh... yeah..."

Becky said...

Jeff grabs Donna's hand, bloodied now from punching him in the nose, and leads her down a winding path deeper into the forest till they come to a clearing. There gleaming, okay not gleaming, but sitting anyways, in a shaft of sunlight, a 1977 Honda Civic.

"It's a classic," Jeff says, smiling fondly at the rusty pile of metal.

"It's a %$#@ing piece of $#@% and I won't ride in it," Donna scowls, swaying slightly, still a little tipsy from the drink-fest on the helicopter ride.

(Yes, our Donna is a bit of a potty mouth when she's been drinking. It's her fourth stage of drunkness. Just be happy you missed the human beatbox and Arriba stage.)

Jeff takes Donna's face in his hands and looks deep into her boozy eyes. "Donna, my darling, it's the only way to hear the answer you seek. Will you trust me, just one more time?"

He holds out his hand to her... Waiting... Looking for trust... Hoping for even more...

Avaelyn said...

Donna looks at his hand hesitantly. Does she dare to trust him? The last time she trusted someone, she was hurt so badly. She's not sure that she can take it again. But she also doesn't think she can go through life alone, not trusting anyone, sitting at home with her cross-stictch and her cats and talking to her coffee table. She needs more out of life than that, she deserves more.

She looks back into his eyes, searching to find any trace of lies or betrayal. She slowly places her hand in his. He grasps it tightly, and pulls her even closer and tighter.

"I'll trust you," she breathes, "it's just... I've been hurt. Promise me you won't do that to me. Please." Her eyes plead for an answer.

"I promise I'll never hurt you." Their gazes lock, and slowly they move closer together, until they can feel each other's breath on their lips. He closes his eyes first, and then she hers. The small space between them closes, and then...

Donna projectile-vomits directly into Jeff's face, which ultimately causes Jeff to vomit as well. And through the vomit, their eyes meet again, and the move in closer again and this time, their lips lock.

In what seems an eternity and a second, they pull apart. "Holy #$%^." Donna exclaims.

Jeff nods in agreement. "Holy #$%^ indeed. Now let's go."

donna said...

-We interupt this story for a news bulletin-

Hi ladies...
Donna here.
I needed to come and tell you how glorious it was to get my coffee this morning, wrap myself in my comfy pink housecoat and sit down to this wonderful story! LOL

I almost spit coffee on my laptop, which wouldn't been detrimental to this lovely piece of hardware that I fondly call 'matrix'... but would go with the 'vomit' theme that seems to keep coming up in the story.

I am happy to know that Carrie was just working and not lost in the wilderness somewhere. I don't even know her, but now that we are coauthoring our second story together, I feel a kinship. -this is where we would hug, if I decided to let you in my personal space-

Carrie? excellent acid gore description. I could VISUALIZE. That's hot.
I also am impressed that you know that I like to live my life filled with tales of flight and fancy. When I tell people that I'm doing that, they don't understand. You obviously get it. Look how reality is weaving its way into our story.

Nice punctuation ALL the way through the story girls. As a Lang. Arts teacher.. I am damn proud!

Ang? "Let me Sleep on it?" okay... this song insertion total threw me off. Another moment when I almost spit coffee. Being someone that often has to break into song, I support your choice, and loved the surprise.

I also chuckled at the 'too many constanants in a row'. LOL ha!

And dear Becky... I almost peed when I read the 'human beatbox and arriba' comment. I see I haven't lived that down.

okay.. I need to refill my cup and add to the adventure.

-We now return you to your regular program -

donna said...

oh... just another quick sidebar for those reading.

I NEVER foam at the mouth. NOR will I ever own a cat.
those stinky psycho animals are NOT for me.
ahem.

and I typed wouldn't when I should've typed 'would've' in regards to my laptop. grrr.. I hate spelling errors.

now..
back to the story.

donna said...

And then, as if God himself knew they needed cleansing from the vomit, a crack of thunder is heard, a bolt of lightening tears across the sky and the rain starts to come down.

Still in one another's arms, the vomit is slowly washed from their faces and they remain locked in each other's gaze. And just like the movies, Donna is appropriately wearing a white blouse that only reveals 'enough' to get Jeff hot as it slowly becomes drenched by the downpour.

Jeff then says... "We can do this together!"
and they both run for cover into the 1977 Honda Civic.

When they step inside Jeff fumbles for the keys as Donna uses the visor mirror to touch up her running mascara. She also drains the water out of her stilletto pumps.

"Let's go!" Donna encourages him!

the engine fires up and the muffler backfires twice before Jeff throws it into gear and they begin tearing through the city streets.

"Turn left here" Donna instructs.

"Stay in the right lane!" She adds

"Watch out for that pedestrian" She mutters

"Turn right.. we'll get there faster if you turn right here" she screams.

Jeff cranks hard right on the wheel then parks by the sidewalk. "Do you want to drive?"

"Damn right I do!" she yells... and she gets out of the car and runs around to the driver's seat.

From somewhere in the distance you can here "Mission Impossible" theme music as Donna focus on the road and drives with the utmost precision through the city. Weaving and bobbing through the cars.... and finally making her way into the parking stall right by the door at the CBS Studio.

"You can't park here. This is the disabled parking stall" Jeff says as she pulls out the key.

"I'll LIMP! Get the hell out of the car! Let's get this done! I need my answer! The time is growing short! She bellers...

and then as if by a miracle, or use of a fantastic make up crew, we see our hero and heroine all dry and looking fantastic as they run together in the building.

When they reach the door, Jeff stops and pulls Donna to her...
and he runs his finger along the side of her face, tucking a whisp of her all natural chestnut brown hair behind her ear, and he whispers, "Whatever happens from here, I'm glad we did this together. You are an amazing woman"

and ... they kiss.
with.. NO vomit.

Anonymous said...

no blogging on a Sunday?
what is going on?

Toad said...

House is clean,
Dishes are done,
Let the story continue....

Toad said...

Donna pulls away from Jeff with a look of determination on her face.

"Let's do it!"

Jeff starts unbuttoning his pants.

"Well I've never done it outside the studio but I'm up for it if you are"

"No! No! You idiot. I meant lets go find my third and final answer!"

Donna starts walking away. She turns to look back at Jeff. He's sheepishly zipping up his jeans.

"Men"

She mumbles to herself.

They enter the studio and walk toward the stage. The crowd erupts in applause when they see them. Many people in the crowd are shouting out their votes.

"Yes! No! Yes!"

Angela and Becky are sitting on huge fancy chairs being fanned with leaves by topless men. Their biceps flexing with every motion. Both their expressions are filled with anticipation.

Donna thinks to herself, it's all up to Carrie. In a few more moments I will know what to do!

Becky thinks to herself, I hope this is over soon. The Apprentice is on tonight and I don't want to miss it. Donna always has to steal the spot light.

Angela thinks to herself, how do they make my fan boy look so shiny? I wonder what we are voting over. I sure wish Donna would tell us. It's just like her to play games with us. I bet its something stupid like "Should I have dressing in my salad today? Yes or no?"

Donna settles into her seat. Winks at her new fan boy and gives him a light tap on the bum. Jeff glares at the fan boy.

"Watch it bucko, she's mine."

He turns to the audience and begins to read the papers. Again.

He pulls out one vote....

"Yes"

Angela jumps up and down.

He pulls out the next vote...

"No"

Becky's face forms to a satisfied grin. She crosses her arms and leans back confident in her decision.

He pulls out the next vote. Before he can read it he lets one rip. The crowd erupts in laughter. Donna smacks herself on the forehead. She sighs...

"I can't take him anywhere"

Jeff pulls himself back together, wipes the sweat from his forehead and reads the third and final vote...

Becky said...

Caaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrieeeeeeeeee... Where aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee you?

Toad said...

Seriously. That girl needs to quit her job. I don't want to go to bed tonight not knowing what happens. All I can say is she better be working. If she's out having fun she's dead.

*paces back and forth in pj's and house coat

Toad said...

I want to cry. I really do. This is hurting me.

*hangs head and goes to bed

donna said...

oh my.. I can't handle this either.. I need my answer today!

Come on Carrie! you can do it!

Toad said...

CARRIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avaelyn said...

Sorry you guys. I wasn't working yesterday, but I WAS doing something very important. Exchanging my ditial camera and shirt, for one that works and one that fits and isn't ugly. And then, spending the whole day at my parents place rewatching episodes of Heroes. Oh, and getting sick. So you're lucky I'm here today, because I called in sick to work. But if you guys want to pay me, I can sure quit my job. :P Come on. You know you wanna. Come on. Maybe if I say "Come on" enough you'll do it. Ya think?

So the story will continue... please excuse any spelling errors, I don't have my glasses on, so I can hardly see what I'm typing.

Avaelyn said...

The corwd is anxiously quiet. The atmostphere in the room is that of tense silence. Donna, Angie, and Becky are both leaning forward in their seets, awaiting the answer. Even Donna's fan boy has ceased his fanning to listen, but he quickly starts up again when he is kicked roughly in the shins by Donna.

Jeff, being the annoying reality TV show host he is, feels the need to draw out the suspense. He eyes everyone on stage, takes in a deep breath, and slowly starts to unfold the small tattered paper. Again, he inhales and exhales, the looks up from the paper to inquire, "This is the final vote, the deciding vote. Is everyone ready to hear it?" The crowd erupts in a simultaneous "YES!!!"

"Okay. And we'll here that vote..." he grins mischeviously "right after the break!"

The crowd groams, and then chaos ensues. Members of the audience start screaming and throwing things at Jeff. Becky rolls her eyes and and mutters under her breath. Angie growls, picks up a coconut from the set and chucks it at Jeff's head; unluckily for him, her aim is spectacular and it hits him right in the back of the head. Donna face starts to turn an angry red, and she stands up and heads toward Jeff, pure rage gleaming in her eyes. Jeff turns to see her coming toward him, faster and faster. "STOP!" he yells. "Okay, cameras, start rolling, we're coming back from commercial early!! Just don't hurt me anymore." Donna slows before getting to him, but kicks him in the shins once for good measure before heading back to her seat.

"Okay, everyone, we're back. And now, we are about to hear the last vote, and therefore we will have the final results of the voting."

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Becky mutters.

Jeff gives her a dirty look before continuing. "And the third and final vote, the answer to Donna's question is..."

The entire room is hushed.

" 'You do not need me to tell you the answer. You already know the answer, it lies deep inside you." Jeff looks up to the camera and shrugs.

Donna's last string of her already stretched patience snaps. She screams incoherently for a full minute before marching over to snatch the paper from Jeff, and rereads the contents of the paper to herself. "WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?! THIS ISN'T AN ANSWER, JUST ANOTHER BIT OF CARRIE'S RIDICULOUS "PROFOUND" GIBBERISH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!" Her yells become incoherent again as she hurls the paper on the ground, but, being paper, it merely floats slowly to rest comfortably on the floor. This only fuels her anger to the extreme, and her screams become louder and she proceeds to stomp on the little paper with all her might.

In the midst of her stomping, Jeff catches a glimpse of something written on the back of the paper, something he had never seen before. "STOP!!" He yells, but know one can here him over the chaos and the sound of Donna's deafening screams. He grabs a bullhorn which is conveniently placed behind his seat for just such an occasion and yells again, "STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPP!!!"

Everyone freezes that second in what they were doing, and loods expectantly at Jeff. "There's something written on the back of the paper. Here." He walks over and lifts Donna's foot to pull the paper out from under it. He reads it, and then hands it over to Donna, who reads it aloud. "It reads:

"Just kidding. Yes. (Haha, got you good, suckers.)"

Toad said...

lol. you are so lucky you voted. i was gonna fly to bc and smack you if you didn't.

donna said...

YES! THE ANSWER IS YES!

now.. sadly.. you are going to have to wait till the weekend to know if this is going to be the right choice.

The 'yes' shall go into effect tonight.

Stay tuned for consequences.

My life... is going to be changed.. forever.

Thanks girls.

... next time I just use a magic eight ball. LOL : )

donna said...

oh... and I hope you feel better soon Carrie!

Toad said...

i wanna know what this is about before the weekend. seriously. i'm way to nosey.

also i will be in dorkton at 6 am friday....so you better look out if you don't tell me.

Avaelyn said...

WHAT?!!! AFter all that effort I'm gonna have to wait until the weekend to know?! Crap... I may not sleep... Well, not like I'm sleeping properly anyway, being sick. Anyway, yeah, let's hope that I feel better soon.

And this better be good. Or else....

Dum dum dummm......

(Carrie eyes Donna menacingly, but the effect is someone lost on Donna, as Carrie's nose is running profusely.)

Man, that is so gross.

donna said...

You sound like most of the snotty nosed kids I'm teaching today!
good work!

Toad said...

don't avoid me donna. i wanna know what this is all about.

Becky said...

You want me to drive over to her house after school and chunck her in the head with a coconut? It seemed to work on Jeff...

Becky said...

Hey. You know what would rock? If Donna would join us for our movie night. That would rock.

donna said...

wow.. good thing I came back here.
You are having movie night?
what?
huh?
Okay.. I have to get through about 50 pages of boring reading.. send my notes to some stranger in BC.. then pretend to be active in building a presentation...

If I can do that.. I might need a movie night. or a stiff drink.
always.. a stiff drink.

Carol said...

Loved the video. Can't wait to see more of them. Very had to catch up on my blog reading while away from home. Stay tuned, there will be pictures posted when I get home.

The Invisible Mo said...

I haven't even watched the video yet and I have realized I have to put aside a whole afternoon to just read the comments! LOL