From the Mouth of Toad

Papa Bear You're Chair Has Been Replaced....

2008-11-18T21:42:00.007-06:00

With a treadmill...

I have also moved Rosco's bed downstairs. He was very happy about this because I don't think he likes laying on the hard floor. His tail was just vibrating as he layed down on it....

That's all I got. Tomorrow I will post a picture of Noah getting his sandbox. Hopefully Uncle Marvin will come on here and see the look of joy in Noah's eye's and feel better about not out-bidding us.

I will not take a bow for this fab post. I'll let someone else...

Ok.

2008-11-03T20:07:00.003-06:00

I've been forewarned that when mom and dad are away I'm going to need to blog. So, I better start doing some warm up sessions.

I'm downstairs facing the last weekend with mom and dad before they leave. I'm working on a CD I want to send with them along their journey. It's a little hard to not just fill it with the depressing sap I've been listening to since Dad first starting getting sick. Mostly it's filled with pain and struggle but in the end hope. As I've mentioned here I'm a big fan of depressing music. It makes me happy and warm and understood when I'm feeling sad. Totally backwards. I should be listening to "June Afternoon" to cheer up but really who would we be kidding? It's not a bright June afternoon is it? It's November and it's chilly and dark and rainy and I rear-ended someone this morning. Yup, here comes the depressing song to listen to while I think about the pair of shoes I could have bought instead of buffing out scratches on my car. OK, I may have had to hit her a little harder than my light tap in order to measure up but I just noticed they are on sale. Sigh...pretty.

I must go decide what to wear to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tomorrow. It's very important to look good at 30 and attract male victims or I might still be haunted by my Uncle's quote when I'm 40 also:

"God love you Ang, because no one else will."

Enjoy the lovely visual show while you listen enraptured by my most favorite Christmas Carol of all time....

2008-04-18T08:43:00.002-06:00

I can not believe I was in Spain and I didn't go here.

and this is getting out of hand

2008-02-04T13:10:00.000-06:00

70 words

free Touch typing

yes

2008-02-04T12:30:00.001-06:00

68 words

Touch Typing

i can't stop

2008-02-04T10:00:00.001-06:00

64 words

free Touch typing

aaaaaaaaand boooooooyaaaaaaa again!

2008-02-04T08:44:00.001-06:00

62 words

Touch Typing

Boooyaaaaaaaaaa!

2008-02-04T07:22:00.000-06:00

59 words

Touch Typing

Tag I'm It Again.

2008-01-31T12:23:00.000-06:00

Here’s how it works: Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. Must be places or names…Nothing made up. Can’t use your own name for boy/girl’s name question. If you can’t answer, skip to next one.

1. Famous Singer: Ani Difranco - she's great. She has a song called "Fuck you" that is totally kick ass. Also, "I am not a pretty girl".

2. Four Letter Word: Anus. ha ha ha.

3. Street: Arlington - where I lived with THE worst boyfriend in history.

4. Colour: Amber - love a pair of earrings i bought is spain that have amber in them

5. Gifts/Present: A car.

6. Vehicle: Aston Martin - i would drive this...if i had to.

7. Things in Souvenir Shop: Aroma Candles. I have too many of these because I've been to too many candle parties.

8. Boy Name: Alex. My assistant's son's name is Alex. He's really cute. I don't think he likes me very much. Last time i was there, i came in and said "Hey Alex how's it going?" he said "Not you again" then ran into his bedroom.

9. Girl Name: Anna. I like this name. it's ok. i've always wanted to be named charly. like the guy name but spelt different.

10. Movie title: Addicted to love. This is the best movie. meg ryan is one of my favorite actors. you need to see this movie. here's my favorite quote:

Maggie: When I was a kid, my father had this dog that started to get all weak and sickly. He takes it to the vet, he examines it and says a maggot must have laid eggs in the dog's butt. The baby maggots have crawled up, now they've started to grow, and eventually they're gonna eat the dog alive from the inside. He says it should be put to sleep, because it's an old dog anyway. But father won't do it. He takes the dog home, he puts it on the bed, he reaches up into the dog, picking out the maggots with his finger, one by one. It takes him all night, but he gets every last one. That dog outlived my father. That's love, Sam.

11. Drink: alcohol...all of them.

12. OCCUPATION: Air traffic controller. I know one. He's drunk a lot. Before i left for switzerland i called him to see if he was working. he said yes. i asked him not to drink the night before. lol. he said he works better hung over. i think he was joking. but how am i to know. i didn't die. that's all that matters.

13. Celebrity: matt damon.

14. Magazine: American Cheerleader.

15. City: Alicante in spain.

16. Sports: air hockey. i think its a sport.

17. Fruit: apple. i don't really like apples unless they are in apple crisp.

18. Reason for Being Late to work: ate too many jalapeno's last night, couldn't get off the crapper.

19. Something that you throw away: anything i want to.

20. Something you shout: argh! thank god it's done!!!!

Happy Birthday Pappa Bear

2008-01-08T20:50:00.000-06:00

Today, is my dad's birthday. I forgot until now, when I walked in the door. I even saw him this morning and I didn't say a word. But, then again neither did he.

I'll try and talk about my Dad for a bit, but it might be hard. I've had a couple of pretty emotional three days. A lot of fear and a lot of "what ifs". One day, after a bad day I went to mom and dad's house and I cried. And Dad came upstairs and he hugged me for a long time while I sobbed and after I thought of this statement.

The measure of a man.

It's been in my head since. I thought about how short he's become but how huge he is to me, to my family. I thought about how strong he is. How he can still hold me and be strong for me, when I should be the stronger one. I'm not sick, I'm not in pain, and I would think it would be harder for him to see us all worrying and in pain over this. But my Dad isn't weak. He's tough. Man he's so tough. I don't look at him and see a sick man or a shorter man or a weaker man. I just sit in awe of his strength and his courage. I see how much my brothers respect him and how much my nephews worship him and how me and Becky are blubbering messes over him. I see a bond between my Mom and Dad so strong I can't even begin to describe the pride I have for having parents like mine. My Dad has unconditional love and I don't like to think about that love leaving before I want it to. I see what God is when I see my Dad. It's the only time really that I do. He's an example of what a man should be. And I know he prays for me all the time. That makes me feel good inside.

So, he may have gotten shorter but to me he just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And really I don't think anyone will ever measure up to my Dad. I love you.

I will end with my two favorite quotes from my Dad:

"Use your head for more than keeping your ears apart"

"This discussion is over"

My Mother Has An Addiction

2008-01-05T00:48:00.000-06:00

My mom has become this blogging face booking maniac and needs help. I have an intervention in mind but it will involve moving the computer back downstairs. This will be very hard on her. I hope everyone will rally around her and show support. Bring her cookies and milk.

Tag, I'm it.
I don't feel like going through all my posts, so I'm just gonna pick a few favorites and this should keep everyone happy for a few more months. Or maybe I should try and be like Melissa and post every day. Hmmmm, I'll think about it. I know it would make my mother and my sister very happy.

My top 10 in no particular order.

1. OCD That's Just Me
This is so you can all get to know me again.

2. If I Were To Become An Alcoholic
Good times.

3. Retraction

4. Pister

5. Picture Speaks a Thousand Words

6. It's a Blogiversary
Ah, the comments. The memories.

7. The Braun Christmas

8. Pick me, Choose me, Love me.

9. Tag, I'm It

10. I don't have any more favs.

There you go mom. Now I'm going to bed.

Holy Shit Sticks Batman! A New Post

2007-11-13T15:41:00.000-06:00

There are only a few things that bring me that special tingly excitement. Sends shivers up my spine. Makes me run around my apartment waving my hands in a mad furry like a conductor. It's this....

So, tonight while I make my stew and write this post I have pulled out from the trenches my Phantom Of the Opera CD. Not just any CD. The whole thing right through, with all the talking all the music. It's brilliant. I'm currently at the part where Christine first sings in front of the crowd. She's in her dressing room and the Phantom appears in her mirror.

"I am your angel, come to me angel of music.

I am your angel of music. Come to me angel of music.

Christine! Angel!"

Baaaa ba ba ba ba baaaaaa badum.....

Ah, then comes the part where he controls her and takes her over. Oh man! I remember my mom bought me tickets when I was 14 for my birthday. She took me out for supper first. It was amazing. I was so caught up with it, that at one point I saw the Phantom lurking around in the rafters, ready to pounce. I stood up and pointed, not being able to stay in my seat.

"Sing, my angel of music"

"Sing"

"Sing for me"

"Sing my angel of music!"

At this part she's just belting it out, and then she hits this note that will make the hairs of your arms stand up. And she's so beautiful with her long hair and her dress and the Phantom standing over her all powerful and crap.

There's few things that I can remember. Ask Becky. But this, everything. I can see it all in my head. I can't wait.

CAN'T WAIT!!!

I have a favorite part. The whole stage looks just like this. They are celebrating New Years Eve and they think they got rid of the Phantom and Christine and Raoul can be together. Anyways, he shows up at the top of the staircase. Everyone freezes and he slowly walks down the steps. Each step the orchestra makes this low, lurking evil footstep sound and it's awesome.

The last clip is from the movie, not as good as real life. I just wanted you to see the part where he walks down the stairs cause it's great.

Also, there's this part when they are on the rooftop....

(Again from the movie but it was hard to find good clips)

I'm so excited.

problem...

2007-09-05T20:13:00.000-06:00

wow..
finally I can type...
all I did was get ripped up with my sister
on spicy caesars all weekend.
sigh.
when will we ever learn?

Monday Monday Monday!

2007-08-20T07:46:00.000-06:00

Last night I had a dream that all my teeth disintegrated in my mouth. This was very upsetting for me in my dream because it meant I had to go to the dentist. And me, teeth and dentists haven't had a good history. Thankfully I woke up and they are all still in my mouth where they should be.

My hair is looking flat on a day that it would be rather important it co-operate with me.

It took me about 7 tries to start my car this morning.

The person that could cheer me up, is not in.

This is also the person I would ask for a nickel from.

ONE nickel, is how short I am from purchasing my morning coffee.

The instant vanilla presidents choice coffee tastes like a barf and mold mixture.

Instead of printing invoices my printer is printing pages full of this... &$#%#* 33333&$%^##*$($%^($%^&)%^&*(^^^^^^^^^^^^^$)%^($%*^$%&^(%^&%$^()&%$^&($%^#*$(%^$%&^%$*^&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&$)%^(#%$)^&$*###&*&^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I can't get into Accpac.

It's freezing outside but the air conditioning is on. I'm freezing and my fingers are so cold they are stiff and soar when I type, but heaven forbid I turn it off.

My head is full of thoughts and insecurities and I don't like this feeling but I can't turn that off either.

I'm pissy.

I'm gonna go laminate something. Perhaps that will help.

UPDATE: I'm feeling a little better. Mostly because this girl has come online and asked me to go for coffee after the gym. Something to look forward to.

name calling

2007-08-19T19:05:00.000-06:00

recently I was told that I've been called a 'hopeless cause'.
I can't believe such name calling.

why do people do that?
do they do it to make themselves feel better?
do they do it in hopes of bullying me to behave in a certain way?

why must we have such labels?

I don't think I'm hopeless.. I think I'm actually quite hopeFUL.

I must go pray.. to ask God to forgive this person and not eternally damn her.

incognito

2007-08-13T21:13:00.000-06:00

Superman posed as Clark Kent

Batman posed as Bruce Wayne

The Hulk posed as Dr. Bruce Banner.

Wonder Woman posed as Diana Themyscira.

Dr. Jekyll posed as Hyde.

or did Hyde pose as Jekyll?

I think it would be cool to pose as someone..

or someone pose as me...

perhaps I truly am a super hero and you all don't know.

waaaa haaaaa haaaaa!

Never judge a book by its cover

2007-08-12T12:11:00.000-06:00

I was thinking the other day about how I have preconceived notions about what a person is like before they even open their mouth. I think its probably a bad thing. But I wonder, how many of you are like that too?
Like.. when you see a group of teenage boys together and they are walking your way, do you fear for your safety?
when you see a senior driving a car, do you immediately assume they are a bad driver?
When you meet a shy woman, do you assume too quickly that they are stuck up?

I need to stop doing this.
That said.. sometimes after talking to people a little bit I put them into the 'smart' or 'silly' or 'not worth my time' categories as well. That probably isn't fair either.

Do people judge me that way? probably do.
let the judgment cease!
didn't someone say...thou shalt not judge?

... I need a brownie.

secrets...

2007-08-10T08:05:00.000-06:00

Can you keep a secret?
I think I'm pretty good at it... fort knox.. yep.. that's my lips.
well, sometimes.
Sometimes things are just too juicy not to share,
sometimes things are just too spicy... or funny... and in those cases
I need to share.
then there are those secrets that need to remain in a group of people.
Only a certain number of people should know.

But then I wonder, is it really a secret if I've told someone?
then it becomes 'information'.

But I really hate when someone tells my secrets.
because then I can't CONTROL the information.

What do you think?
Do you tell? or not tell?

Corn on the Cob

2007-08-08T18:07:00.001-06:00

I love Corn on the Cob.
But for years I've struggling with cooking it properly.

too many cobs don't fit in the pot..

and what kind of pot should one use?

do they make rectangular sized pots?

no.
no they don't.

so once I do find something that fits..

how long do you cook it?

6 minutes? 8 minutes? 10 minutes?

then I usually burn myself draining the hot water out.
and the corn is usually tough.

WELL NOT ANYMORE.

My first kitchen tip:

HOW TO COOK CORN ON THE COB

put a paper towel in the microwave.
place corn on the cob on it.
IN the husks.

cook for 2 minutes.

peel husks off and eat!

Its a big day.
a REAL big day.

When you gonna change your blog???

2007-08-07T08:43:00.000-06:00

So what if it has taken me this long to change my blog....
Do you know how annoyed I am with this question?
Do you know how many people have asked me this?
...Have phoned me and asked me?
...Have even sent me snail mail on the topic???
Do I ask you annoying questions?
do I say,

"Hey.. when are you going to finally come see me?"
or
"When are you going to have another baby?"
"why can't you control your kids?"

"are you going to eat the rest of that?"

"Where are you going?"

"Why did you do that?"

"Don't you think you should lose some weight?"

"Are you really going to wear that?"

"Why do fools fall in love?"

"What is that green thing with the fuzz on it?"

"Did you say pearl one knit two?"

"Is she for real?"

no.

I haven't.

because I have respect.

**cue Aretha***

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What People Will Do

2007-06-18T12:24:00.000-06:00

I'm totally doing this to my cats when I get home.

I'll let you know how it goes. I'm am glad I clipped their claws yesterday.

This picture is making me laugh uncontrollably. Oh man. I can't wait.

The Swingers

2007-06-16T21:52:00.000-06:00

Good fun at the park. I think Ben and Sammy had a good time. Wait were they there? I can't remember....

We are so bad ass.

For video footage go to Becky's blog.

Hang In There

2007-06-13T21:28:00.001-06:00

This is what I'm doing. I feel like I'm "hanging in there". When someone feels like they are hanging onto a rope there's not much to blog about. I'm not exactly sure what I've been doing lately but I've been doing stuff. So, here it is.

My Train Trip:
(Yes, the one I took this winter)
(Yes, I know it's summer)

The train is highly recommended for many reasons:
- it's not a smelly bus, it's a smelly train
- there's much more leg room
- you get your own pillow and blanket and night pack which includes ear plugs, eye mask and a face cloth.
- you can walk around, go to the eating room, have breakfast or just sit
- the "tooooot toooot" and "chugalugga chugalugga" are very relaxing
- you feel very safe
- the staff are all super friendly and speak with french accents which I love
- on sale days its cheaper than the bus and on not sale days it's about the same price as the bus
- did I mention it's not the bus?

The train leaves at a really late or early time. 2:15am. But, the way I see it is then you don't waste precious daylight hours travelling.

Here I am in front of the station:

Another great pro...free coffee! What? No! Yeya!

Yummy!

Sick of your seat? Someone getting on your nerves? Get up and leave!

Can't complain either way you travel when at the end of your trip you get to see these guys:

Also, seeing my pister is always a pro. We bond though, no matter where we are.

Ah, good trip now for the sleepy ride home:

I hope this was the substance filled post you have been waiting for. If not, hang in there. There's still my hockey tournament. Yes, that was in the winter too.

Tag - I'm It

2007-05-21T18:26:00.000-06:00

7 things you may or may not know about me:

1. When I get bit by mosquitoes I swell quite a bit. They are insanely itchy. Last week I raked my lazy landlady's leaves. In an effort to be nice, even when she's not. I got a lot of bites. They've been itchy. Driving me nuts. To ease myself I have a ritual that I do to my bites. I first mark an x on them with my finger nail. I push really hard really long. Then I spit on my finger and rub my spit on the bite and then I blow on it. Ahhhhh nice and cool. This beats scratching the crap out of them till they becomes a scab that I can't stop picking. In the end, my oven broke down and my landlady was a hag about it. As I walked past the giant bags of leaves that will be there for months cause she won't clean those up either. I slit two of the bags with my keys and proceeded to my car. So now when she tries to move them the bags will give out underneath and old moldy leaves will spill out. Ahhhhh satisfaction.

2. I like revenge. I see nothing wrong with it. It makes me feel good.

3. I have a pair of runners I bought in Spain that I still haven't worn. I love them but I'm not sure if they suit me and if I can pull them off. Here they are....

4. I have this obsession with hippie clothes. I love the flowing white dresses, the lacy tanks, the long dresses the soft skirts and the pattern shirts. As I walk past them in stores I slide my hand across them. Sometimes, I go try them on and remember why I can't wear them. I look like a knob. I look uncomfortable and awkward. But I still try. These are a small portion of my purchases that I don't wear. I've stopped buying them and have learnt my lesson but I still can't seem to part with them. I am determined that once I grow my hair out they will work for me. And I can look care free, light and soft like the breeze is blowing me through life and my natural nature beauty is all I require to get me through.

5. I still have last years calendar up by my computer. Many times I will look at it out of habit, and totally screw myself up thinking the day is something completely different than what it really is. I like the pictures on it. So, I leave it up. And who cares if the 21st is actually a Monday and not a Sunday? Not me.

6. I listen to incredibly depressing music when I'm at home. I'm typically always alone and I like it. And I drown in it with depressing lonely music. I find it comforting. In some backwards way, it cheers me up. Currently, I'm listening to 9 Crimes by Damien Rice.

7. On my paper route there is this guy who all winter didn't shovel. Now he's trimmed his hedges and have left them all over the sidewalk. He also parks so it's impossible to get to where I drop off his paper. So, I have to cram myself in between the shrub and his car. In the winter I would slip and fall lots. It always ticks me off. When I go past his car on the way back to the street I move his side mirror so every time he drives he has to adjust it. I don't know why, but annoying him the way he annoys me with the parking and the shovelling and the shrubs makes me feel better. Has something to do with #2 above. I know, reeaaaaal mature. But man it feels so good.

That's it. There you go.

Even Sweeter

2007-05-14T12:25:00.001-06:00

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Ironic by Alanis Morisette

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

Sweet. Can't wait.

2007-05-14T12:22:00.001-06:00

There's a 36% Chance You've Been Abducted By Aliens

Even though you have a few alien abduction signs, you're almost certainly in the clear.
However, if aliens ever do come to your neck of the woods... they'll probably be coming for you!

What Are the Chances that You've Been Abducted by Aliens?

Lets talk about my anger

2007-04-28T21:09:00.000-06:00

I'm angry.

I'm angry when people ask me what is new. I want to yell and them and say what the frick do you think is new? I go to work and I go to the hospital.

I'm angry when people ask me how its going. They really don't want to know. They only want to hear that things are fine. So, that's what I say. When really I just want to tell them to fuck off.

I'm angry when people ask me stupid questions.

I'm angry when I look at that picture of Uncle Marvin helping renovate. I look at it and wonder if my Dad will ever do anything close to that again. No offence, I'm not angry at you...I'm just mad and jealous.

I'm angry at other cancer patients on the ward who just have cancer and not all this other crap. They just have to focus on cancer and not on broken backs, and pain, and hips, and blood, and kidneys and back surgery. I think their cancer looks like a cake walk and I'm jealous. I'm that's probably not the case and I try and tell myself that. But, it doesn't help. I'm still pissed.

I want to scream and people who come up and complain to me about their stupid insignificant shit that I don't give a frick about and wish they would just go away.

I'm angry when I see two girls running and laughing at the river together. And I miss that, but when I try and do stuff like that I feel guilty for having any fun. And I glare at those girls feeling free and running together and I hate them.

I'm angry when people tell me it will be ok. It's not ok.

I'm angry when I open my fridge and all I have to eat is pickles because I have no energy to make anything nor do I care to.

I'm angry when I cleaned out my purse and I added up all my parking stubs and I would have been able to buy two months of passes but I don't because I keep hoping that for once maybe we will catch a break and Dad could go home where he would be happy. But there's no breaks, there's just one piece of shit thing after another.

I'm angry that my Dad doesn't have a room with a nice window and he can't get any sunlight.

I'm angry that I can't seem to pull it together enough to tell myself to suck it up because this is going to be the way it is for a long time. I'm angry when I don't understand why.

I'm angry and I can't help myself anymore. So the next time you (you...as in anyone out there in the void) might see me and I'm a bitch understand that I'm jealous and I want to punch you in the face but it's nothing personal.

I wish I could go buy a box of dishes and throw each one down onto cement over and over until I can't lift my arms anymore.

2007-03-31T07:42:00.000-06:00

It's been a long night. I walked around my house trying to say the right prayers in my head. Like if I say the right thing or wish the right wish everything will stop. Like I'm standing at the door to a secret society and I need to say the right thing to get in. But I don't know the password and I can't break the code. I lay in bed and wish I could trade places and close my eyes and will it to be so. But it's not working. I don't know what to do. I tried to tell myself that I need to get ready for a battle today but I'm not prepared and I'm not feeling very strong. But if tears could win a war, it would have been won last night in my bed.

Love Notes

2007-03-28T15:55:00.000-06:00

Notes from my landlady:

Found on my downy that was on the floor by the washing machine:

"Please don't leave your downy on the floor and put it on the shelf where it's supposed to go."

Found on plastic bag of cans waiting to be filled to be taken to garage:

"Please don't leave your recyclables in the laundry room and take them out to the garage."

Found on two empty containers of Sunlight laundry detergent:

"Please don't leave your garbage in the laundry room."

Love note's I'm day dreaming about leaving around:

Placed on garage door:

"I would put my recyclables in the garage but I have no idea where to put them because your garage is a mess and I'm sure where I placed them would be wrong and you would leave a note on them telling me to move them somewhere else"

Reference Garage Here

Placed on Sunlight laundry detergent:

"Please tell your sister not to leave her garbage in the laundry room. I use Purex."

STAPLED to her dogs nose:

"Please stop your dog from jumping on me every time it sees me. Please stop it from barking. Please stop it from shedding."

Left on back door:

"Thanks for shovelling the walk all winter. I really appreciated it. Right."

Left on mailbox:

"Please leave my mail and anything else that doesn't belong to you in the mailbox. Don't bring it into your house and don't pretend you didn't get something because you wanted to steal it. And please don't be a bitch when I confront you about taking something that belongs to me."

Left on garage door:

"Please clean up your garage so I can walk to my car without tripping when it's dark."

also.....
"Please replace the light bulb so I can see where I'm walking."

Left on door:

"Please let me know when you intend on putting the bathroom back together from the reno you did in Novemeber because when you said the middle of the week I guess I should have asked which week. My mistake."

Left on door:

"Please put the screens back in the windows like you said you would do last week."

Left in mailbox:

"Please accept this as notice of my intention to move out because you're insane."

2007-03-18T14:45:00.000-06:00

So, I haven't blogged in a while. I have no reason except I didn't feel like it. Which in my opinion is better than any story I could make up. I don't want to do an update of what I've been doing because honestly who cares? Not me! More importantly...

Tegan and Sarah are so wicked that they make me want to be a lesbian. I love their music. Today on my run I listened to them over and over. I'm addicted to Sweet November. If I were a lesbian I would want to be just like them. We could hang out and do cool things together and wear thick glasses. Then I look at this and I change my mind right smartly.

Ah, one more. Why not?

Curling on TV is so boring it makes me want to slit my wrists. None of them are hot. They all talk in monotone. I don't understand how anyone can watch it.

So instead, I put on this and everything is ok again. I'm no longer suicidal. I just sit back and enjoy. Men's beach volleyball is where its at. One might say, it's the cat's meow. Purrrrrrrrrr.

I have nothing to say.

Here's a list of things that I've been meaning to blog about...
- the hockey tournament (I've got video footage)
- my train trip
- everything I want to be when I'm old
- the red hat society.

Look forward to it. Maybe next year.

2007-03-18T11:47:00.001-06:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Pick Me, Choose me, Love me

2007-03-09T19:56:00.000-06:00

***Edit - I re-loaded all my photo's finally. Enjoy.***

Some may know, and some may not. My cousin Carrie is getting married this summer. I've been trying to convince her to let me be a bridesmaid, but I don't think she has the vision I do. And what a vision...

Not only would I look fantastic for her, I would be everything a bridesmaid should be:

Supportive, when she starts freaking out over small details that don't matter. I would grab her and shake her and tell her "Snap out of it, who cares if the bra you ordered doesn't fit. Go au natural, just the way God made you or just borrow Chloe's, she won't mind."

Calm, when things get crazy. Like perhaps the ring bearer pukes all over his little white pillow. I would wipe that puke off with my own sleeve and flip that pillow over before she would even notice. This "calm" would be greatly aided by the mickey of Malibu Mango I would have stuffed under that fluffy dress. Really, people what is all that fluff good for, besides hiding booze, guns and condoms?

Crafty, when she needs decoration advice. Say, she just can't manage to get that flower arrangement to look right. Or, she needs new center pieces for her tables because the ones her old bridesmaid made fell apart. Perhaps she totally forgot to make "give aways". Now, in a situation like this one would require to first stay calm:

Brainstorm:

Then, put a plan into action:

Who doesn't need a key chain? Brilliant.

Hospitable, when guests don't feel comfortable. You and I know that table. That table of people at receptions that you don't know what to do with, so you cram them all together. They all sit and stare at their food awkwardly. They are the last ones to go up to the buffet line. There's never any gravy left. That can be an uncomfortable feeling. I would embrace these so called "left over friends" that no one else wants to sit with. I would dance with them. Tell funny jokes to break the ice. Then, once they were all visiting I would proudly and gracefully walk back to the head table where I belong. What? Did you expect me to actually sit with them? Seriously, I'm a bridesmaid.

The life of the party, when things start to get dull. Say, no one is dancing. One thing about me is my lack of shame. I have no problem heading out to the middle of the dance floor and showing people how it's done. It might not be as good as Elaine and the Seinfeld crew, but I've got a few moves that I'm sure would get the party pumpin'.

And just because I can't help myself:

Organized, when things get hectic. I'm the one who will write out a detailed list of who bought you what. I'm the one that will lovingly write out all your thank-you cards while you are away enjoying honeymoon bliss. I will write little notes for each individual like:

Thanks for the dull vegetable knife. I've managed to cut myself 3 times with it. It will come in handy when I stab you in the back the next time I see you. Thanks. A. Lot.

Or:

Thanks for the massage kit. Although, I got some oil in my eye (don't ask how) we enjoyed it thoroughly and I do mean thoroughly.

Punctual, when you are running late. Need to get somewhere on time? I'm your gal. I show up for work 15 min early every day. Not because I love it, but because that's just the way I am. You need to leave and get to pictures? I will cut that receiving line short, and get you on your way. Each guest will be given a 5 second slot to say their congrats and then its out the door. "Sorry Grandma, times up. It's time for the happy couple to haul ass over to their photo shoot." You need that Uncle that never shuts up to wind up that long boring speech? You know the ones I'm talking about. The one's that make people give side glances to the person sitting next to them. They roll their eyes at each other and nod in agreement. I'm your gal. I'm blunt and to the point. I can have an automatic music intro incorporated so when things get too long, cue the music maestro. Just like the at the Grammy's. And, if that doesn't work I can pull out my gun from under my fluff. "Wind it up old man".

Self sacrificing, when she needs defending. Say, someone gets a little "drunk" and they stumble up to Carrie with their red wine. Say, said drunk person tries to "chink" glasses with Carrie to congratulate her on her new marriage. Say, Donna misses her glass and spills all over Carries wedding dress. This catastrophe could be diverted if I were there. Seen here:

(note: this took me a while to time myself flying through the air. My shoulder hurts now because on one occasion I bounced pretty hard off the bed. This is the self sacrifice I'm talking about. I had this big idea of pasting myself onto a picture of Carrie but Becky wasn't home and I can't seem to figure it out. So, close your eyes and imagine Carrie standing innocently behind me. Thanks.)

Safe, when things get dangerous. Say, above mentioned drunk person decides she's gonna take a liking to the poor geek at the reject table? Because I know all and see all, I would catch those two running off for a romp in the coat room. Yeah, you know that room. The room where every drunk person at weddings goes to make out in. I run over, grab a condom out of my fluff and casually throw it on the floor just in case. That's what I do. Saving the world, one shot gun wedding at a time.

Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Carrie, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.
So pick me, choose me, love me.

UPDATE: (From Becky)
I'm here now and more than ready to do my part. Well, I'm ready to do some cutting and pasting in photoshop and really, it's all I'm good for. I think this was what you were looking for Ang? Too bad you weren't wearing your dress, although you wouldn't want to risk it getting torn or something... Cause I'm pretty sure after this you'll be needing it.Also, all you family members and random strangers: Make sure you cast your vote over on the side for what you think Carrie should do. (You only get to vote once, so search your heart before you do.)

<-------- Over that way. After all, this wedding isn't about Carrie or Kyle. It's about us and what we, the public, want to see. (I should add some polls to my blog... This is fun!)

UPDATED UPDATE: (From Becky again.)
Actually, it's more up and then:
<-------- That way. Mazal Tof!

2007-02-26T20:26:00.000-06:00

Last Year Today....

2007-02-26T11:25:00.000-06:00

Mavis passed away. I am not good at expressing feelings so instead I went back onto Becky's blog and remembered how great Mavis is. Becky always knows just what to say. Go here. And here.

Edit - And she did it again here today. I knew she would. Thanks Becky.

Blame The Bulge

2007-02-23T12:08:00.000-06:00

“He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.”
Samantha Jones, Sex and the City

Tonight I'm playing in a hockey tournament out in Langham with work. I got lucky and found a friend (Thanks Moe) who is the same size as me. She lent me all her equipment. As she went through her bag and showed me everything, she saved the best for last. The "lady protector". Or as I so lovingly termed it last night, "the bulge".

Here I am experiencing the bulge for the first time as I tried on my equipment. I was starting to feel quite manly, cocky, aggressive and ready for a fight. I say I look quite fantastic with my bulge. You really have to try it. There's nothing quite like the feeling of power that rushes through your veins.

Here I am checking it out. Ooo nice bulge!

So, tonight as I slip on my "lady protection" I'm going to feel the transformation into an aggressive take no bullshit hockey star. And anything that I do after that, I have completely decided that I have no control over it. If I swear, drink too much beer, belch, adjust myself and yell obscenities at the other team I'm just going to blame the bulge.

Stay Tuned....

2007-02-21T12:39:00.000-06:00

Footsack wants to know what I've been up to. It's coming. Tonight. It will be done.

Happy Birthday Noah!

2007-02-13T17:47:00.000-06:00

There are no other boogies that will ever compare to yours.

I Swear It's True

2007-02-13T08:10:00.000-06:00

Today I'm going to talk about my swearing issue. I won't go so far to call it my swearing problem, because I actually feel at times that it's not a problem. This is not me trying to brag and show off like a 10 year old because I can swear. I just think that situations call for it in order for people to truly understand where I'm coming from.

For example:

Yesterday, I slammed my fingernail in the file cabinet. I honestly feel that if I yelled "Ouch, that hurt!" people wouldn't think it hurt as bad as it did unless I screamed out "Mother $#*@##, that hurt!". It hurt that bad. And I'm incredibly disappointed that I have nothing to show for the pain. My body doesn't bruise easily and it ticks me off. Why can't my body represent? Why didn't my finger fall off? That's what it felt like. That's a blog for another day though.

For Example:

Someone tells you that her "friend" did the deed with her boyfriend and kept it a secret. Honestly, what are you supposed to say? I know what you don't say. You don't say "Well that's not a very nice thing to do. What a bad friend. She's not a good girl". You know what you say? OK wait, you know what I say? "That dirty f%^&@# whore, what a skanky B#$%@!". That's what I say. Saying anything less wouldn't do the situation justice. And that's the nicest possible thing I can think of to say too.

For Example:

Every morning at the traffic circle. Nough said.

For Example:

The other morning I woke up and looked in the mirror to see my nose all bloody and sore. I must have yanked on my nose ring in my sleep. "Wow, what happened there?" or "What the @#$%?".

This is me. This is what I do. Of course, I don't talk like this all the time. But for some reason I feel like I can't on my blog and it's mine. Where I'm supposed to be me and not pretending to be something I'm not. Yes, it has slipped out in moments when it shouldn't. And I apologize for that. I know, there's a time and place. But today, I'm in a mood. And I feel the intense need to express myself.

Now, let's get to the point of my blog:

Today, I woke up and used a new conditioner sampler on my hair. I can't remember the brand at the moment. It talks about silk and moisture. Basically, my hair doesn't smell good, it smells fucking fantastic. Understand?

It's A Sad Day Indeed

2007-02-12T15:06:00.000-06:00

This morning while getting ready for work I thought to myself "I hope there is an eBay purchase waiting for me when I get home today". The eBay purchase has arrived, just not to the right place. This makes me sad. It will be a lonely moment for me after work. Can I have a moment of silence?

"The Whispers In The Morning Of Lovers Sleeping Tight"

2007-02-12T11:05:00.000-06:00

This morning I heard a great song. This song was made a million times better when my sister sang it in Hollies on karaoke night. Ah, the dim lights, the smell of alcohol and stale bottles in the air. That was a great night. Could have been greater if say Donna or Joyce were there. I have yet to see Donna's karaoke. I've only heard rumours of it. I wonder if it's even true. I know her friend Staci does a wonderful Madonna.

On Friday night I got picked up from my house. We turned onto Spadina. I looked up to see a teenage boy in his gitch dancing in his room, mic in hand, heart on his sleeve. We turned around the block to go have a second, closer look. He had his shirt on this time and his parents came to the window to stare at us as we watched their son put on a show. He was dancing and waving his arms in expression wildly. I imagined he was singing a classic like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

I love watching it. One night my friend Bert and I stopped at the max and filled some brown grab bags full of candy, ran across the street to Whiskey Jacks and watched all night long. People are so totally awesome, and they only get better the worse they sound.

I think it's time for some karaoke. I'm feeling rather jealous of this boys free spirit. I think a party should be planned. I don't want to be the planner. I just want to show up. Fashionably late of course, with some liquor courage in my hand. Perhaps, with a slutty top on and my outrageous stiletto, navy blue, lace covered 80's boots.

Some of my favorite karaoke songs I've attempted....I Got You Babe with Mavis and Uncle Henry at a family reunion, Baby Got Back with MSR at a staff party, I Will Survive with Becky at Mom's birthday and Bust a Move dedicated to Carla for her 19Th birthday.

(Something dangerous happened today. Donna added me to her msn.)

February 1st

2007-02-04T17:40:00.000-06:00

On Feb 1st was my friends Birthday. I'm late in posting, because I took my sweet time. This is the cake I made for her. It was my second cake ever made. I mostly try to stick with ice cream cake because I will eat ice cream cake. The first cake was much worse. If you can imagine that.

Dianna feels the need to make me cake even though I hate cake. I don't eat it, but she does it anyways. Although last year, instead of making me a cake she and JP made me a fantastic cheese ball that was way better than cake. This is a picture of a cake she made for me (I think) on my 19th birthday. She showed up at 6-7am at my house for my birthday. She always makes sure people have their special day.

Side Note: That hand belongs to someone who reads this blog and it's not Dianna's. I want to see if you can remember that you were there too.

Dianna and I have shared many birthdays together. We have been friends for many years. Here is a picture of us at Dianna's 19th birthday. Check out our lovely big hair! I got hit on by a lesbian that night. I didn't even catch on. She kept asking me to dance and I thought she was fun, so I would. Until, my lovely friends came up to me and asked what I was doing dancing with that lesbian.

Dianna and I became close through cheerleading in Grade 9. She never dropped me. I loved her. We coached clinics together and became beyond close. Too close. We were far too comfortable with eachother. There are so many memories and stories. I had a lot of fun going through all my old pics. Many I couldn't put up because if anyone knows Dianna they also know, fear, and respect the physical strenth that she is not afraid to unleash on people. I never hit Dianna. And if I manage to tick her off I generally just try and run or hide behind someone. She is gentle and loving too. Seen here after a long day of coaching in Regina (I think).

It's been a long friendship, and I'm glad we are still friends and able to grow together. We went to Switzerland together for the marathon. She has the same arthritis as Becky and totally blew me away with her ability to run through pain. I suppose she is as stubborn as she is strong. She's managed to have two beautiful kids and married her favorite guy Ken. I'm very happy that we are all able to hang out and still have fun together. She is always there to capture me at my best... (JP was there too and can take some credit in this).

Now, that I've posted this picture I think I should be able to put some up of her. Here it comes. I will be waiting with shoulder pads for the giant fist that is going to plow into me after she sees this. It'll be worth it. Let it begin.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNIE!
YOU'RE. NUMBER. ONE.

Welcome Back

2007-01-29T22:16:00.000-06:00

It had been a while since I hit the gym. I've been going a bit but more to try out new shoes and then wait for other shoes to come in and then get new shoes again after the shoes I ordered weren't even ordered. Long story short, I got my new shoes and went to Muscle Sculpt. To my surprise, when I walked in there was a short, lets say "Asian or Chinese" (I can never tell the difference no offence out there) man with medium to large sized glasses and large teeth teaching.

"Alrighty, let's see how this goes" I said to myself.

About 10 seconds in I start to realise this guy is a total spaz and start giggling like mad at the display going on in front of my eyes. This guy is REVED UP! He's ready to go! He had more energy than everyone in the room combined. I honestly could not stop laughing.

"Holy *&$^ this guy is *$%^#*& nuts!" I said to myself.

He said ass a lot and Hell twice. At this point I fell in love. Then we did some inner thigh work out squeezing a ball in between our legs.

"Squeeze! Push!"

It sounded like he was coaching 30 women through intense labour.

Then we did squats

"Stick that ass out! Stick that money maker out!"

Man, it was so funny but also the most intense work out I've ever had. He looses count and then makes up a different number. He asks what else we want to work on. It's amazing. I hope he understands when I decide to stalk him all over the city to attend his class. My arms are so tired right now it's actually hard to type and they are shaking with fatigue. This may not excite everyone, but it makes my day.

Then, I came home in a fantastic mood and feeling much better than the grump I felt like after work. My cat started crying at me. So, I went and looked at the pathetic pictures of her with her pathetic leg and even felt better about being kept up all night.

I really do rely on physical activity to keep my head straight. I can become really depressed and down if I don't. I realise that now.

Time for a new post.

2007-01-29T17:08:00.000-06:00

People are really ticking me off lately. That's all I got. I would elaborate but there's just no point. I need a change.

I'll post later when I'm happy, and not so filled with rage and annoyance. Otherwise, it might spill out into my post and hurt feelings kinda like how mine get hurt sometimes.

Note: This is in no way directed to Annon who gently reminds me that it's time for a new post. This is just my response to explain why it's not time.

Also, my asshole cat won't sleep at all and meows all night long for no reason and I want to punch it. Yeah, the same one that I cried over about her stupid leg a couple months ago. Same. Cat. I think I liked her more in her tiny cage.

I'm wondering now if you can feel my rage seething through the computer screen?

I hate spell check.

Udonome

2007-01-26T11:42:00.001-06:00

Create your own Friend Quiz here

A Post For Donna

2007-01-21T14:09:00.000-06:00

Awe, aren't they cute?

I'll be looking forward to the pictures of you and the guns.

A Little Taste of True Love

2007-01-15T20:47:00.000-06:00

Everyone should go check out my nephews on Noah's Blog (Click Here!!!).

It's just so cute it makes you sick.

All Aboard!

2007-01-15T10:17:00.000-06:00

Says the train master with his perfectly ironed suit and his perfectly shined shoes with his perfectly mounted hat. I look down at my ticket. It's windy, so I have to use one hand to hold my bonnet in place. My man servant carries my luggage behind me. I hand the man my ticket with my white glove. I'm very tired from the carriage ride to the station and I can't wait to have some tea. I hike up my layered dress, grasp the train masters hand elegantly and step onto the train. I'm such a lady.

This Thursday night at 2am I'm taking my first train ride to Yorkton. I have this big idea of what its going to be like. I'm sure I will be disappointed and they won't have tea, and a can of pop will be 6 dollars. But, one can dream. The price last week was 86 bucks, and this week it's gone up to 100. I'm going to assume that some high society types scheduled in, so they jacked up the prices. I don't mind. It's better to be in the company of well bread people. Women with large dowries and men with manners. Men that will stand up when you walk in a room, and bow slightly while saying madam. I can see it now....

The Braun Christmas

2007-01-12T17:14:00.000-06:00

At last my project is complete. I suppose I shouldn't use the term "at last". It only took me two nights of fiddling around. Here we go.

Expect more of these in the future. I've got some big ideas.

2007-01-11T11:57:00.000-06:00

hyphen
You scored 38% Sociability and 58% Sophistication!

You are comfortable around others. While you don't have to go out every night, yet you take pride in being easy to get along with. This should not, however, be misconstrued as believing (as many do) that you are without subtlety. In fact, you have the power to inform the anal retentive that, indeed, they are discussing an anal-retentive issue. Who else can do that? Quotation marks intimidate you a little bit.

Let's not and say we did....

2007-01-10T11:39:00.000-06:00

Today I'm going to talk about not talking about something.

The weather.

I hate weather talk. I dread it. I hate weather talk more than I hate talking about politics. At least, when I talk about politics I can learn something because I know nothing. When someone comes up to me and says "It's a blizard!" I really have nothing to say. Should I run to the window screaming "No way!"? I've already been outside, I know. I also know that this whole blog about not talking about the wheather while in turn devoting all conversation to it, is a big double standard but I don't care. It annoys me. Where else am I going to say it? The only time I will talk about the weather is if the internet goes down as a result. And even then, I won't blame weather I will trash talk SaskTel.

It annoyed me this morning to see people out jogging while I delivered my papers. Not because I know that they are commited to being an athlete, but because I know they are only out there running in a blizzard just so they can go to work and talk about how they ran in the blizzard to everyone. No one loves running that much. They did it for the soul purpose of having something to say. And everyone will have this response of awe... "Wow you ran out in this? You're crazy!" Lord help us all.

Join the masses of people that will discuss how cold and windy it is, just don't do it with me.

*Becky has sent the pics. I just haven't done anything about it. I'll get to it when I feel inclined. If you can't tell I haven't been feeling inclined to blog lately.

*I hate spell checker.

*I want chips.

Blame Ang

2007-01-09T19:03:00.000-06:00

I sent Ang all the pictures she wanted last night and she still hasn't done anything. All that work for nothing. What a let down.

What does vacous mean anyways?

- Becky

Blame Becky

2007-01-08T10:25:00.000-06:00

I have been waiting for some pictures before I can post anything about the holidays because I have a need for it all to be in order. I need the pictures from the supper photo shoot to make this complete. Maybe this will kick things into gear.

December 25th

2006-12-25T11:13:00.000-06:00

I have officially felt the holidays hit me and have now reached ultimate relaxation. Last night I got home, turned on some music and read my book. I read till 2:30am and fell asleep knowing that it didn't matter how tired I felt the next day because I could take a nap whenever I wanted.

This morning we all woke up to go meet Mike at the airport. In proper Braun style we were all late.

Ah, Mikey. Now it's officially Christmas. Everyone is home and safe and happy and ready for fun.

Then I came home. Made some potato pancakes and I'm reading some more in my quiet house with Wintersong in the background. The sun is shining through my window into my bed. My portable heater is clicking in and out and my landlady seems to have went away for the holidays. Ultimate silence. Just what I like. This will refresh me for the insanity and chaos that will ensue tomorrow at my parents house.

Mmmmmmmmm chaos and Ceasars. They go good together don't they?

Merry Christmas everyone! I love you.

It's A Blogiversary!

2006-12-21T21:23:00.000-06:00

This post marks my hundredth post. One hundred times I came on here and poured my heart out. Actually, no I didn't but I tried. I use this blog for the most part to amuse myself and to mark things that I want to remember. I hope that in turn people who read it are also amused.

Here are my top 5 things that I would like to have a hundred of:

Grandma's Pickles

Episodes of Fraiser ( I used to have a crush on Niles in highschool)

Shoes

My nehpews giggle's

Massages

Here are my top 5 favorite posts:

Retraction

A Picture Speaks A Thousand Words

My Pister

If I Were To Become An Alcoholic

How I Got Melissa To Make Me Supper

Here are my top five favorite comments on my blog: (This ended up just being my most recent fav's because it was way too much work to read all the comments and someone was complaining to me today that she needs me to post something. Her name starts with a J and she wines a lot)

Chris said...
You are an amazing speller. What was wrong with that? Is amazing spelt wrong? How do you spell it?
How do you spell spelt?
Monday, December 18, 2006

joyce said...
sometimes...
if I'm bored..
I do things incognito.
Saturday, December 09, 2006

Becky said...
That picture reminds me of the scene from My Best Friend's Wedding where one of the kinky bridesmaids licks the David ice sculpture and gets stuck on it... So don't do that. No licky.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Becky said...
Cause you might... Sticky.
Saturday, December 16, 2006

Auntie Sue said...
A few years ago during about with the flu I forgot to take out my very loose fitting dentures when I puked. I was feeling so terrible that I didn't notice that my teeth were gone until after I flushed. They got stuck in the trap, Marv had to remove the whole toilet to get them out. Boiling water and lots of bleach and I had my smile back. I know, GROSS!!! but new dentures are about $800.00. I have since got new ones.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Toad said...
Auntie Sue you take the cake for horrible toilet story. You know what you get? A big star. Just like Becky's blog. Here you go.
*
Unless someone of course comes on with a better one. Then I will have to shamefully dethrone you in some kind of humiliating fashion. The paperazi will be there to capture it all and put it on Etalk daily.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Auntie Sue said...
And I will smile at them with my new teeth.
Friday, November 10, 2006

Carrie said...
I just remembered some things that I do... I have a certain rhythm and beat for when I brush my teeth. If I mess up and get the rhythm wrong and I end up on the wrong beat, it bugs me. And if I'm doing something that gets only one of my hands wet, I have to rub them together so they are both slightly damp. Even if there is a towel nearby. Then I toweldry them both. I think I remember that phone cord at Auntie Susan's. I did the same thing. And it's spelt nauseous.
Friday, July 28, 2006

Some Blogs That I love That You Should Read: (Family has been excluded to avoid bitter rivalry right before Christmas)

Sambot

Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper

Now we are going to touch on a very important part of my blog that I have been wanting to write about for a while:

The Site Tracker.
It consumes me. I have even gone so far into my site tracker to see the longitude and latitude of where people read from to try and guess who they are when I don't know. I check it daily. I know when someone from my old work place is on and I know when my ex's read it. Yes, that's right I know who you are! But, then there's the ones who I have no clue about. Like, Warman! Who reads my blog from Warman? It has be bothering me. I've tried to think of who you could be and I have no clue. If you are from Warman I would appreciate and "annon" comment even. Just to say hi. What is with all these unkown countries that are being listed? I have come to the conclusion that they actually don't exsist and aliens from the galaxy have taken intrest in my blog. Perhaps, they need an example of an intelletcually advanced human to study. If I were them I would look somewhere else. But, you can't argue with aliens. They know when they see a good thing.

Top 5 Locations That I Have No Clue Who They Are:

Redwater, Ontario

Warman, Sask

Grande Prairie, Alberta

Canora, Sask

Corunna, Michigan

If you read this blog and have never commented today is your day. Today, you can be heard. Do it for me. It will make me so happy.

At this moment this is the summary from my site tracker:

VISITS

Total 2,262
Average Per Day 28
Average Visit Length 1:49
Last Hour 1
Today 27
This Week 198

PAGE VIEWS

Total 3,085
Average Per Day 36
Average Per Visit 1.3
Last Hour 12
Today 45
This Week 255

I looked to see what topic I have talked about the most on my blog. Buffoonery and Vittles. A pretty good representation of what goes through my mind. Food, and goofing off. I have my priorities straight. So, this is it. I can't wait for the next 100. If anyone is wondering, the marker didn't wash off all the way and I am worried that I will have to go to work tomorrow with this faded writing on my face. See the sacrifice that I go through just for this blog? There are some things I refuse to sacrifice though. Fraiser is on, and I gotta go.

Also, for my hundredth celebration, I'm not going to let that spell checker mock me. I'm going to stare my horrible spelling and gammer in the face. I'm not going to go back and read this and I'm not going to click that horrible ABC link. So, there you go people. Enjoy. Laugh. Point fingers are your screen in awe of it. This Christmas it's my gift.
From me.
To you.

Note: Fraiser isn't on. Oh the humanity! I also ate a whole package ot tic tac while writing this post.

Too Little Too Late

2006-12-18T12:33:00.000-06:00

When I am asked what I want for Christmas I can never think of things until this morning. While walking on my route I thought of some fantastic things I should have said.

1. I would love to have my two marathon pictures printed out and framed.

2. I would like someone to arrange a meeting with John Gormley for the sole purpose to punch him in the face. I can't stand that guy.

3. A gift cert at walmart so I can print some pictures from my trip. I know if I just got money I would spend it on bills and crap...so it would need to be a store credit.

4. A food processor so I can make so many hashbrown's and potatoe pancakes I will turn into a potatoe.

Yes, these are some good ideas.

My spell check is still telling me I'm and amazing speller. We all know this is not true. I don't want to hear about it.

I love Ice

2006-12-16T15:42:00.000-06:00

I don't even need to say anthing here do I?

Photo Shoot

2006-12-15T08:17:00.000-06:00

Last night I tried to take pictures of my cats so I could put them on Becky's Tree. I didn't even bother trying to get a picture of Shyla after the episode with Libby. I give up.

Gobbledygoop

2006-12-13T09:41:00.000-06:00

I haven't been posting very often and I haven't had any reason why. So here is a bunch of mixed up crap.

Today I was reading about a womans view on attraction and how we are attracted to the opposite sex. You know, men visually and women emotionally. Comments go on to state that the poor men out there have no control and that its not their fault. Sure, I understand that. But, what I don't really see is how all the comments about women state that "we" all feel the same and that we can see and attractive man and say "Yes, he's good looking" but our thoughts go no farther than that because we aren't wired that way. I beg to differ.

Comment Quote:

Men on the other hand are drawn to the womans body... in a way we arent to a mans body.
We are more "emotionally" turned on.
Because of this men I think are in the sucky position... I mean can you imagine walking around each day trying to not look at another woman.. yet everywhere they turn theres billboards with half naked women, magazine covers... girls on the street with hardly anything on, commercials, etc..etc... Its like impossible!

Ok, here's the thing. Men are truely exposed to images of the female body way more than we are to images of the male body. I suppose in a way we are bombarded more with images of the male form with a pot belly, drinking beer, sitting on the couch, watching them misbehave and act like morons and highfive eachother. What if things were different? What if on every magazine cover we saw an in shape handsom man who appears to have all his shit together AND we saw on TV a well dressed well mannered goodlooking guy married to the "average joe lady". I use this example because so many TV shows I see it seems to have a hot wife with a fat schmuck of a husband but the wife still loves him anyways. Why can't it be the other way around? Perhaps we as woman would be more visually stimulated if we were exposed to it as much as men are.

For example:

and...

We all know why Uncle Phil got that hottie don't we? If you need a hint it starts with "M" and its not Macho.

Why are there pics of chicks on a woman's mag? These pictures could easly tranfer over to a Maxim cover no prob. Also, in Maxim any article that involves woman is usually titled something like "How to trick your girlfriend into doing what you want" and "How to get your girl to fullfill even your sickest deepest fantasies". Why doesn't Cosmo have articles about how to get your boyfriend to do whatever you want? Why is it always about making him feel fantastic? Sigh, this is why I don't buy it. I want a magazine with a hot dewd on the cover felexing his muscles with no shirt on and then I want it to say "How to make him kneel on the floor, snivelling, begging for mercy and do whatever you want". Man that would rock. And then it would say "Hot pic's inside or hot men doing hot things topless, like chopping wood" I know that's a long title but I want detail. Then I would put it on the top of my toilet for all to see. He he he. It would never work...I know. They all never work it's just a bunch of bull but it still bugs me anyway. I think mostly I'm bothered because it's such an accepted excuse that men use. "I can't help myself, it's the way I was made" therefore making it totally ok to act like a horn dog because that's how he was made.

I know for a fact that I can be turned on visually. Here's a shamefull example:

I was watching Borne Identity with Matt Damon (not with Matt Damon physically or literally, this would happen only in my dreams) and that scene came on where she takes his shirt off and they have the perfect angle of his flexing bicep muscle. My boyfriend at the time tried to say something at this exact moment and I was so into Matt that I actually stuck my hand up in his face and shushed him until it was over. I got in trouble. If that's not visually stimulated I don't know what is. Once while home sick I was watching some movie they showed a scene with the leading man naked. Typically, they only show the bum. But! This time he was bending over getting into bed and they actually showed his member! I couldn't beleive it. I actually replayed it about 5 times to make sure because I was also high on demerol and thought I may be halucinating. Funny, I don't remember the movie title...just. that. one. scene.

If I see something I like I don't say in my head "Oh he's handsom". I say "ha cha cha I wonder what he looks like under that". I know, maybe it's bad and maybe I am different than some other woman out there. But, I really think that maybe if we had been exposed to it as much as men perhaps we would be just as lustful. I know though that if it were true my excuse wouldn't be "It's not my fault I was born like this!". I think it would be "I'm a horrible horney peice of crap who can't control myself. Please help."

I'm not saying its right I'm just saying this is how I am.

I would post a comment on the persons blog but I seem to cause problems when I comment and people get angry. And I think its fun to make people angry so why not do it on my blog instead?

*I just did a spell check and it actually said no misspellings found. This is an amazing day and now I know for sure that this post was meant to happen. It's fate.

Sometimes...

2006-12-07T12:34:00.000-06:00

In my car I pretend I'm famous and singing at a concert and everyone thinks I'm great.

I say I have plans when people ask me to do things so I don't have to go out because I can't afford it.

I daydream about going and buying a cheep set of dishes and breaking them all one by one. I think it would be fun.

When I eat in front of people I want to put more salt and butter on my food but I don't because I think people will think I'm gross.

My eyes blur out until everything goes black for a few seconds and then it comes back and I've never asked the doctor why because it has been going on so long that I assume everyone's do it. My ears fade out to nothing too but not as often.

I wish I remember more from being a kid because my sister remembers so much and all I have is a few stories and that's it.

I think about Christmas and I don't like it because I don't have my own family while everyone spends the day with theirs and I sit around alone.

I feel like I work with Grade Nines. Actually, all the time. Especially today.

I get this nervous feeling out of the blue in the middle of the night and I don't know why.

I think I'm going to die early and it doesn't bother me.

I'm temped to tell someone a secret I have and is STILL on going since high school but I chicken out every time. Even to my sister. I wrote it down on here and deleted it and wrote this instead and probably this will be the closest I'll ever come to saying it besides to the online club I joined so I could talk to people about it who understand.

When I think back about how badly I chewed my finger nails it makes me gag. Literally.

I make my cat do sit ups because I think she needs to loose weight and this will help.

This whole post started because I heard the song "Sometimes" by Britney Spears and it got stuck in my head. I was gonna write a bunch of funny stuff but I think being sick and grumpy and high on cold medication made it far more depressing than it should have been.

Still Sick

2006-12-06T12:19:00.000-06:00

Well, today I'm at home. Out of breath from making some hash browns. I got up enough energy to have a bath and that's about it. I can't believe I'm not better yet. Kad did my papers for me and I'm not going to Alberto's tonight. I really want to be better by the weekend. For some reason everything tastes like a mixture of barf and rotten food and on Friday is Kad's Christmas supper at John's and I really don't want my steak dinner to taste like rotten food. That is all I have to say. I'm going to go lay down now and watch my movies.

On another note, the nose spray works wonders except I'm afraid of becoming hooked on it.

I'm Sick

2006-12-03T11:12:00.000-06:00

Yesterday morning I started feeling like crap. By last night I was in such a state that in the car ride home I pulled up my hood and tried to hold my head up with my hands because my neck wasn't going to be able to handle the weight. The whole time during the supper I didn't even want to look or talk to anyone. I just wanted to go home to bed. Although, the meal was really good and I laughed a bit I mostly just sat and stared or rubbed my temples to try and get some of that crap moving around in my sinus'.

I stopped at the store on the way home to buy some drugs. Everyone has their "thing" that they take when they are sick. So, I took my dad's advice and bought some nasal spray to clean out my nose. I also bought some liquid cold medicine because it makes me feel better than pills. I opened up the bottle and was greeted with the wretched smell of black licorice. Seriously, they should put a warning on those bottles.

Warning: "This is going to taste like a Flaming Sambuca shot"

It's a good thing I can't taste too well but I still gagged the whole time trying to swallow it. 7 dollars down the drain. I was then bombarded with memories of white water kayaking when I received the "award" of Most Out Of Control Kayaker of the trip. I was then handed a thick glove and a metal pop can cut in half with a utility knife full of Flaming Sambuca. Literally, I had to blow it out and down it. I received many awards that night and woke up in the back of the Kelsey van on the floor with my teacher poking me in the back with a twig to see if I was still alive. It wasn't a good morning and I definitely didn't want to taste this memory last night.

Now, I have to go back to the store and buy some cherry flavored medicine so I can sleep tonight and be better for work on Monday. Wish me luck.

How I Got Melissa To Make Me Supper

2006-12-01T10:58:00.000-06:00

Wednesday: I planted the seed

Thursday morning: I watered the seed

Thursday evening: I watched it grow

Last night I had the best meal ever. After some begging, Melissa made me scalloped potatoes, ham and tossed salad. This is one of my favorite meals. I'm so grateful. We cancelled out all the food by attending Muscle Sculpt and then watched Grey's together and ate. I had two plates full. I think after the first plate I said something like "I want to eat more but I think it will make me sick if I do". I ate more. It was so good. I'm not sure if all the food contributed to my very strange dream:

It was the Vanier Cup. I was with these weird tribal people who had told me that I was wiccan. I asked them how they knew because I had no idea. They said that they put me in a hypnotic state and found out I had powers and I was a witch. I hung out with them some more because I wanted to find out what my powers were. Then as my tribal group of friends stood on the side lines while I tried to levitate a rock unsuccessfully the snow birds flew over. Except, they weren't flying their usual planes. They were in these really pretty colored paper mache planes that floated so gracefully. Then the pretty pink one flew straight up and a giant flower appeared in the air and it flew right into the center of the flower. The flower closed in around it and fluttered to the ground. Some circus guy came out into the middle of the field and opened up the flower and the paper mache plane was gone and a cricket crawled out onto the circus guy's hand. All my tribal friends looked at me like I had just preformed a magic trick and started chanting and dancing around me. Then I woke up. It looked a little something like this:

I know it's not as nice as Becky's pictures but I try.

My Christmas Wish Since I Already Got My Two Front Teeth

2006-11-28T20:20:00.000-06:00

Usually when I want something this badly I go and get it because I can't take the suspense of not having it. If I got this for Christmas I think it might take over the number one position for best present ever. Yes, the this may be retired from top spot. So, I am going to sit back, relax and trust that I will be unwrapping the best present ever! Please don't disappoint me out there.

“These days man knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.”
Oscar Wilde

This is going to hurt just a little....

2006-11-27T16:59:00.000-06:00

I would like to type something because if I say it out loud I think my throat will close up on instinct.

That car of mine. That 1982 Honda Civic with manual choke automatic standard...

As my Dad would say, "It's a good little car".

People have opened up my hood and taken a tour of my car and wondered how in the world it runs. How has it started over and over with that battery that has been corroding the posts and with wires that crumble when you expose them? It burns oil so bad that it stinks and smokes and makes me embarassed when people pull up beside me. They look at me. I look at them and turn away like nothing is happening while smoke billows out from under my hood. But, it still starts. It plows through snow like its a 4 x 4. I think maybe it gets such a good run through the snow because it slams into gear so hard my car leaps forward and it can't help but get a fast start on the ice. It's definately not because I have good tires. I Tokyo drift with easy control around corners, particularly around the Victoria bridge ice rink traffic circle and if I'm not picking up speed I just slam it into a gear and it hops along. Despite its quirks I really haven't spent much on it to fix it. Sure, the muffler slips off and I drag it down the highway every now and then. Sure, sometimes I sit and stare in wonder while a high pitch sqeeling noise comes out from the dash area that has made me think perhaps it was a bomb and someone confused me for a spy and one day it will blow. Sure, fumes come in that make me sick to my stomach. Sure, I've never had windsheild wipers that fully work and the washer fluid streaks out in two even straight lines like a water gun. But, when push comes to shove it's a good little car.

Now please excuse me while I go wash my mouth out with soap to get this awful taste out of it.

(One another note the, smoke has reminded me of another story I should share. Once, I borrowed a boyfriends car and I drove all the way down the street with the e-brake up. I pulled up to the red light and someone honked at me and told me my car was on fire. I get out and have a look and there was so much smoke I thought I had destroyed it. When I confessed about the brakes I said that I had only left it up for about a block and could that cause alot of damage? He said it should be fine. I think I drove the whole length between Circle drive and Preston Avenue. Man, that was bad.)

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.
~Mac McCleary

2006-11-24T12:39:00.001-06:00

You Are an Iced Coffee

At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic

At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty

You drink coffee when: you're out with friends

Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Out Into The Void

2006-11-23T22:09:00.000-06:00

So, all this time I've been plucking my nose hairs thinking that after time it won't hurt as much as it does. I have always assumed that, like waxing, you would get used to it. I just can't. It seems to get worse. I don't know what to do. I have nose hairs and I want them gone but as I stood in front of my mirror for my "get ready for bed nightly close up inspection of myself" I saw them. I grabbed my tweezers and I paused and I thought about it.

Do I really want to do this to myself? I've had a good night. Why end it in tears and sneezing and jumping up and down in odd tingling pain just to get out a couple hairs?

I know that I have to do something about them. I just don't know what.

Now, here's where we cross the line from being open to actually being totally frank.

What do you people do with yours?

I think I would like to try something like this:

(This is my third post of the day I think that is a record for me. *pretends to sling golden medal over head and rest gently around neck.)

Is It a Full Moon?

2006-11-23T09:15:00.000-06:00

I am in a really good mood today. When I am in a good mood I like to post. You know, spread my joy to the masses. I need to post fast because you never know when the mood will turn sour.

Perhaps, I'm in a good mood because today is junk food day. The day I reward myself with mounds of food for working since 5:40am till 9pm yesterday. This junk food day isn't really much different from any other day I suppose except that I am conscious of my effort to inhale as much crap as possible. This morning I had a plan, I was going to stock up at the store before work. I went to 2 stores that were both closed. So instead I had to convince Jonny Ross to get me some chips when he's out on deliveries. He can now take part credit for putting me in blissful state you read before you.

So, to celebrate junk food day I am going for lunch at Keo's. When I finish I plan to reek like Thai cuisine curry goodness and be so full I will wish I wore sweatpants. Then I will enjoy a few more icy squares, some choc covered almonds and a big bag of Doritos Zesty Cheese. After work I'm going to enjoy Taco's. Then I will cancel it all out with a trip to muscle sculpt class.

Today is also Grey's Anatomy day. And I heard that its an extra long one for Thanksgiving. I am so thankful.

I just realised that this joyous post could sound quite sarcastic but I assure you, I am happy and it's not me being a smart ass.

Honest.

Now go! Tell someone you love them with a big smile on your face and then stuff it with food.

So please
baby please
Open your heart
Catch my disease
Ben Lee

(I just checked online, there is no full moon and I have no explanation for this)

Becky: I owe you a pop.

2006-11-23T08:01:00.000-06:00

Last night in my dream:

The Scene - chatting on MSN with Becky

The Conversation -

Angtron Says :

I have cancer

Becktron Says :

Mom told me you have cancer

Becktron Says :

You owe me a pop

The Scene - I sit in shock as my sister signs out of MSN then I go make myself some cheese and crackers like nothing happened and watch TV on my couch.

(Apparently I've been thinking about cancer too much and I've been chatting on MSN too much)

In my dreams

2006-11-19T14:53:00.000-06:00

I keep a paper and a pen in a drawer beside my bed so at night when I have dreams I want to remember the next day, I can write them down. Today I found this in my drawer. I have no recollection of writting it but this is indeed my hand writting in messy sleepy form. This is also the first time I have used my scanner.

Why I'm Proud to be Canadian

2006-11-19T00:19:00.000-06:00

Want some more? Yeah me too.....

And one more for my dreams tonight......

*sigh too bad Sylvia didn't get his face smashed open although he did manage to put me to sleep yet again so I could be refreshed and ready to watch some real fighting. Thanks Sylvia, you never let me down you side show freak. Yet another 5 rounds of absolute bullshit how does he do it?

I Have Nothing to Say....or do I?

2006-11-16T09:58:00.000-06:00

"I believe that the so-called 'writing block' is a product of some kind of disproportion between your standards and your performance ... one should lower his standards until there is no felt threshold to go over in writing. It's easy to write. You just shouldn't have standards that inhibit you from writing ... I can imagine a person beginning to feel he's not able to write up to that standard he imagines the world has set for him. But to me that's surrealistic. The only standard I can rationally have is the standard I'm meeting right now ... You should be more willing to forgive yourself. It doesn't make any difference if you are good or bad today. The assessment of the product is something that happens after you're done it."
William Stafford, poet

So read this crappy blog....

I have nothing to talk about. All I've been doing is working. I had a blog in mind yesterday started. Now I just feel way too tired to even finish it. My brain won't think straight today. I'm really disappointed in the fact that I can't think of anything fun.

After working 16 hours yesterday, I decided to reward myself today with food. So, for lunch I'm going to get myself an order of fresh rolls from somewhere and I'm also going to stop at the store and buy a big bag of Zesty Cheese Doritos and a Dr. Pepper. This will make me very happy.

This weekend I have big plans. This is a rare occurrence. Friday night Jo's friend Cat Jahnke is playing at Lydia's. I saw her once at the fringe and she's really good. I think I may convince her to go out to eat at Amigo's before the show. Shouldn't be too hard.

Then Saturday, I have a massage and a night out at The Double Deuce to watch the UFC PPV with Kad and some people from Scheers Gym. I think the last time I went to this place was with Andrea about 7 years ago.

Somewhere in all this I need to grocery shop and clean my house and relax alone as well. So those are my plans. I'm really excited about going out with Jo because we don't do much anymore.

I wore my glasses to work today. This morning I cleaned them but I used my hand towel that must have had hair product or lotion of some kind on it and now they are all smeared and I can't get that film layer off them. It's very apparent right now because the sun is shining on me sideways and making everything blurry.

Tada!
*takes bow

Pickle Appreciation Day

2006-11-14T15:35:00.000-06:00

Maybe Tomorrow - Terry Bush

There's a voice that keeps on calling me

Down the road, that's where I'll always be.

Every stop I make, I make a new friend,

Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

Down this road that never seems to end,
Where new adventure lies just around the bend.
So if you want to drive me for a while,
Just grab your hat, come travel light, that's hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home.
So if you want to join me for a while,
Just grab your hat, come travel light, that's hobo style

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

There's a world that's waiting to unfold,
A brand new tale no-one has ever told.
We've journeyed far far and know it wont be long;
We're almost there, and we've paid our fare with our hobo song.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.
So if you want to join me for a while,
Just grab your hat, come travel light, that's hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll find what I call home,
Until tomorrow, you know I'm free.

Hot off the Press

2006-11-13T12:22:00.000-06:00

On Thursday, I went online looking for another job because I hate Alberto's with a passion. Not that its a bad place to work or my boss is a jerk. They are nice. It is just a bad place to work for me. They have so many take out and delivery orders. You have to answer the phone and pack them all up. While this is happening you are ignoring your customers. I hate the phone. I answer the phone all day and it takes everything in me to have good phone manners after a life of horrible phone etiquette. So by the end of the night I actually walk past the phone when it rings and pretend it's not there. This makes me look like crap because they know I don't care and that my tips are more important to me. (Add that to the drunken staggering and smoking part and it's really a miracle that I'm working anywhere...)

So I called this lady about delivering the Star Phoenix. She called me back at work even though I left a message saying to call me at home. She must have used her call display to get my work number. I answered and I knew it was her. She asked for me and I said, "No, she went home for the day." I was actually so embarrassed that I didn't want anyone to know about it. This embarrassment was intensified when my sister made fun of me. (Rightfully so.)

So on Friday they came (late) and dropped off some information for me so I could start Saturday morning. Saturday I headed out and it took me to one minute before 7am to finish. 7am is my deadline. I couldn't see any house numbers and it was dark and I had no clue where I was going. So Sunday I thought, "I will prepare myself and walked the route and planned out where I would go and it will end up taking me 32 minutes. Not bad. (Unless you know that the 8 year old that used to do it finished in under 20 minutes...)

This morning I woke up at 5:45, got dressed and walked outside to grab my papers and count 'em up. There were no papers. I called the phone number I'm supposed to call, "My papers weren't delivered to me and I need someone to call me back please." At 6:10 I started to panic because I needed to be home before 7 to get ready for work. So I called again. This time not so nice. "This is Angela again. I still have no papers and no one has called me back. I need my papers by 6:15 or it's not getting done because I can't be late for work. I need someone to call me back NOW. Like 5 minutes ago NOW!" As I stated above, I have horrible phone skills and I can sound like a giant snot on the phone even when I don't mean to. (That's a huge understatement.) This was as snotty as I could get. I then called my dad to see if he got his paper yet. He said no and looked at Saturday's paper and it said "No paper on Monday". I never thought of the holiday. Then I remembered the nasty message. I called back "Hi, this is Angela and apparently there is no paper today. Just ignore my messages and can you please send me a schedule of when the holidays are?"

I was up at 5:45 with all my clothes and hat and mitts sitting there sweating hot for about 25 minutes stressed out for nothing. (I usually like to stress about important things like whether my left eye is droopier than my right eye.) And I also managed to make myself look like a dumb ass in the process. (Not that unusual.)

This is my solution to the whole working at night part time thing. I hate it and I changed it. Now I can go home and go to the gym and make supper and do all the things I like to do and I don't have to kiss some one's ass for 2 dollars. I don't have to talk to anyone and I get to walk up close to all the houses on Spadina that I've always wanted to walk up close to. It's a nice little route and it will get me outside in the winter. I just kinda feel like a dork about it. Now the story has been scooped and everyone knows about my new little job. I'm sure it will get old and it will be yesterday's news soon. Then I will just get a different part time job. (Cause quitters never prosper... No wait... If at first you don't succeed then quit.)

“There is always room for those who can be relied upon to deliver the goods when they say they will.”
Napoleon Hill

*Editing services provided by SisterPister Inc.

Friends Again

2006-11-12T20:19:00.000-06:00

“Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.”
Tryon Edwards

A Magnetic Force Is at Work

2006-11-09T11:19:00.000-06:00

Mr. Hankey (to Kyle): One time when you were sleeping, I put myself in your mouth and had my friend take a picture.

Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. He loves me, I love you. Therefore, vicariously, he loves you. Even if you're a Jew. Sometimes he's corny. Sometimes he's nutty. He can be brown, or greenish-brown. But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve he might come to your town. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo...

This is not going to be a South Park blog but it is going to be about my toilet. Mr Hankey just came to mind and made me giggle. Cause he loves me and I love you.

This morning while doing my hair I dropped my hairspray in the toilet. I've been noticing lately how often things have been falling in there and trying to remember to close the lid but I live alone and don't care. Until now. This has to stop. A while ago I dropped a birth control pill and it lander directly at the base of my toilet. I picked it up and stared at it for a while and then threw it out. That was the only incident I can recall until recently. In the course of a month I have dropped....

1. At work I dropped my ONLY unopened tampon into the work toilet. I stood there and stared at it trying to decide if I should try and fish it out or flush it down and risk plugging the whole system. I had a moment play out in my mind of the plumber coming to unplug it and finding and unopened tampon and me turning bright red giving away to everyone that I have my favorite friend visiting me and that I use tampons. I know. No big deal but for some reason people mostly men turn into total immature spazoids when they hear anything that has to do with "that time of the month". So, I flushed it anyways. Because if you have seen my work washroom you wouldn't want to go near the bowl either.

2. My contact case. I bought a matching set one blue and one purple. They were expensive. I fished them out with a spoon and threw out the spoon and the contact case.

3. My Gucci glasses. This was upsetting. I stood over my toilet in shock for a while. Then I pulled it together went and boiled a pot of water and stuck them in. I hope I got any germs off of there. The first time I put them on after I felt like my face was going to melt off.

4. Libby. She likes to jump onto the toilet and then onto the edge of the sink while I brush my teeth and so on. She slipped and her leg went in there and ran away leaving a trail of toilet water behind her with every step she took.

5. The lid to my proactive face toner. That got boiled in the pot too.

All of this in the course of a couple weeks. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of throwing out long plastic spoons that I use to fish things out. Why can't I remember to just simply put the lid down? Why is this happening now? I would like to blame my landlord but I can't think of a way. So the only thing I can think of is the ghost is making things fall in there. Besides the scary dreams of the ghost floating around in my place, we've been living in peace and harmony until now. Now it's time to bring out the big guns. I'll let you know what they are when I think of them.

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words

2006-11-07T13:06:00.000-06:00

This is the garage that I am supposed to be parking my car in. My landlady is a twit and can't seem to get it cleared out. I'm supposed to be able to park in here for the winter. I’m also supposed to have storage space in the garage too but that hasn’t happened. This morning I had to scrape the ice off my car and I silently cursed her the whole time. Although, she is quick to jump on the fact that once since I've moved in she had a cold shower because I accidentally turned the water on, and I left some lint in the dryer trap and once I left a piece of cardboard trash outside my door for over a day. This was brought to my attention after I went up to talk to her about the mess she left in my bathroom after she took my ceiling down and proceeded to puddy a hole that she has been "working" on since I moved in. I also wanted to know what was happening with my place and when things would be done and if it was all going to be cleaned up after she left her mess. She had no answer but she had a few things to cluck about. Today the ceiling is back up with out the trim of course, nothing has been done about the puddy and the sanding and the painting, the garage is still a mess and she has made no attempt to get it done. I also had to clean up the whole entire mess. After a day of silence on Saturday night with my bathroom full of plastic and tools and puddy sanding dust. I realized nothing was going to get done because she wasn’t even home. So I grabbed it all and threw it in the hallway. This stress put an end to the relaxation I felt after I went for my first therapeutic massage. I cursed her some more. I kept saying in my head “Angela, there is no reasoning with stupid people. They will never see the common sense” In case you haven't noticed my landlady is borderline crazy. She seriously came down and knocked on my door one day and accused me of hiding Kad at my house and pretending he wasn't living there for free because we had traded vehicles. She assumed he was living there because I was driving his vehicle. And she wasn’t one of “those” women (she actually lifted her fingers, made quotations and I still don’t get it) who just lets people take advantage of her. I explained to her that this was not the case and that his jeep is in front of my house because he is driving my car. I think she is strange. The garage is supposed to be open for my use. It is stated in my lease but I still can't seem to find the space to park in there. Unless I drive really fast and ram my car into all the crap. She also mentioned she has a mice problem in her garage. I can’t imagine how. There are no little nooks to hide in. In response to her lack of motivation, I plan to run a cord along the middle of the sidewalk out to my car and see if she gets the hint. I know it will annoy her to no end. I hope when she comes to confront me about the cord I can slam in her face that the cord wouldn't be there if I parked in the garage. This is a fine example of my passive aggressive behavior. She also started hammering at 10pm on a Friday night on the wall in the furnace room. I have a shelf in my living room with breakables on it. She actually hammered so hard that it knocked off my candleholders. She heard them crash down and didn’t even knock to see what she had done. If there was some way I could beat her to a pulp without actually being held accountable I might consider it. Or, at least pay someone else to do it for me. I don’t want any offers from Drinkatite. You can let your aggression out somewhere else little man. Now I’m completely paranoid about going up there and asking when the garage is going to be cleaned out for fear that she might accuse me of waking her up in the middle of the night because I flushed the toilet or that my summa borscht that I made last night smells too dilly for her taste. Oh, it is so hard not to run water when she is running water. The temptation to do something annoying is like putting a steak on the counter and leaving Rosco alone for 20 seconds. I have a plan for revenge already bouncing around in my little brain for when I move out. I’m almost positive this is not a “legal” suite. And I’m pretty sure one can have it inspected at anytime and the landlord would have to make proper adjustments to make it legal. If she actually had to do that much reno it would take her 10 years. I don’t want to hear about how mean that would be. I run situations in my head all the time and it makes me feel better. Whenever I have confrontations like this with people I stew and think about things I should have said and things I wish I didn’t say and how the next conversation will go. I definitely regret being so nice to her in the first place and trying to make things all happy and joyous. I wish I would have just slapped the lease in her face and walked away and told her to clean up her mess and didn’t listen to her talk about dryer lint. And I wish I didn’t apologize for the dryer lint. I’m so ashamed of my backbone.

I plan to start knitting for the holiday season. I want to make some mittens and slippers for people. I always start projects but never finish them. It’s really frustrating. But I have all this yarn and haven't done a thing with it. Mostly my motivation stems from the fact that this tub takes up valuable storage space. Space that I wouldn’t worry about if the garage was cleaned out. If I could knit all this yarn I would have more space. As you can see in the background my tree is set up. I went and purchased some presents at Toy's r Us over the weekend for Ben and Noah. I came home all excited on Sunday and decided to get ready. I unpacked the tree and hung some lights. Libby and Shyla just love the tree. Libby loves to sit by it and under it. Shlya loves to eat it. So far I've cleaned up puke that contained saliva and green pieces of tree twice. I also bought a box of mandarin oranges and ate a candy cane from last year that was mixed in with the lights. I still can't decide if that's gross. Who cares? I was happy and I was feelin it. I also turned on some downloaded Christmas music. My favorite song of all time is Carol of the Bells. There are some fantastic versions. I also love to rock out to Boney M and I did listen to Bob and Doug's famous 12 Days of Christmas. Although, I didn't drink a beer and it wasn't in a tree. I intend to download the new Sarah McLachlan Christmas CD. Another tid bit that you should know is that Kad eats mandarin orange peels. It’s really quite gross. He boasted about how every year at Christmas he does a demonstration for people and sticks a whole unpeeled mandarin orange in his mouth and eats it. This made me gag just to think about it. I will never look at an orange peel the same again. Just think, you might be the lucky one to see this display of pure talent. It’s so nice in my living room now. I turn out the lights and sit on the couch, eat some spits, drink some iced tea, watch some crappy show on CBC and look over at my tree with 150 tiny little lights and it makes me happy. Who would think that a 2 dollar tree bought at a Yorkton garage sale could bring one so much joy? Well, it can. Many things from garage sales can bring pain as well. I also bought that day a coaster and serving tray set. I’m not sure why I thought they were so cool at the moment because after I brought them home and left them in my cupboard for a long time they revolted me. These coasters had squished butterflies in them. Real bugs. Who would want to take a piece of cheese bit and a pickle off a serving tray with a squished butterfly underneath a piece of plastic? A bug being separated by less than a cm barrier of cheep plastic from your food. I also bought a fantastic wine rack that was a pretty shade of purple. I bought a can of brown spray paint and it looks awesome now. If you think I am rambling on and on and this post is getting really boring, you are correct. I am trying to think of a thousand words to go with this picture and I feel like giving up. In fact, I almost gave up after the first picture was complete and I wrote a thousand words. You can go back and count if you want but your effort will be pointless. I have persevered and I’m now at 636 words. Now 639. I had this big idea at work today and thought it would be really easy. It’s not. I have nothing more to write and definitely nothing more to add to this picture. So, there you go. The statement isn’t true after all. Sometimes a picture doesn’t speak a thousand words. Sometimes it only speaks 694.

I Want Summa

2006-11-02T15:04:00.000-06:00

"Do you have a kinder, more adaptable friend in the food world than soup? Who soothes you when you are ill? Who refuses to leave you when you are impoverished and stretches its resources to give a hearty sustenance and cheer? Who warms you in the winter and cools you in the summer? Yet who also is capable of doing honor to your richest table and impressing your most demanding guests? Soup does its loyal best, no matter what undignified conditions are imposed upon it. You don't catch steak hanging around when you're poor and sick, do you?"
Judith Martin

I would like to fill this empty bowl with some Summa Borscht.

I would call grandma and ask her for the recipe. But, Grandma always seems to be able to cook things by how they look and smell and feel. She has yet to give me an actual recipe with real measurements. Just add a bit of this and a bit of that. I went over there once to learn how to make New Years Cookies. I tried to write it all down as she went along. But, alas I couldn't keep up. She would add about oh so many cups of flour and then some more sugar and then after about 10 minutes she would have a look at it and realise she needs more water and then a little bit more flour. And, I was lost. I can't cook like this. I'm a mess enough as it is. I need structure. So, if any of you have a good recipe for some Summa Borscht can you give it to me? And, if you don't have a recipe can you make one up for me as accurate as possible. I really don't think I can handle making soup depending on what it is supposed to look like, and how its supposed to smell and feel and depending on the barometric pressure maybe add a dash of this and if its really humid outside maybe take away a little of this. I know an exaggeration of what Grandma does but it sometimes can feel like that when you call her for some recipes.

2006-10-30T10:58:00.000-06:00

Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

No? Well, let me tell you about it.

In an effort to pay off my cats surgery and get all caught up I have taken on a part time job. So, every Wed-Fri I will be serving food at Alberto's. If you have never heard of Alberto's imagine a 2 foot sub. Or, portion servings too large for a large man to eat. If you haven't eaten there....this cartoon is an accurate example of the food.

The plates are heavy. It hurts. I can only carry one in each hand. I tried to so the balance two in one but my previously broken pinkie finger just will not allow it. So, I started last week and I'm tired and my feet hurt at the end of the night. I like the tips and I like that its not a fancy place. Just what I wanted. Nice places expect too much. And I don't have much to give when it involves customer service.

Now I only have two nights in the week that I can make it to the gym to work out. And voila my week is full. I also have to clean my house and make food. This won't be leaving much time for anything else. I'm sad but at least I still have my weekends.

Shyla is doing much better. This is bad. I find her doing things she's not supposed to be doing. The more she acts like a normal cat the more Libby seems to be settling down about the grudge that has been going on for over two weeks now. Although she still hisses and growls when she walks around, she doesn't bite Shyla anymore. And last night a new development. Shyla managed to sneak out of the bedroom and jump up on to the cat condo. The very condo that she fell off. She plopped herself down on the top and stayed there all night. Like a queen. Like the ruler of the house. This has seemed to be enough for Libby and the grudge has ended. The top of the condo has been recaptured and returned to its owner. So now, when I get sick of Shyla trying to run around, I stick her up there and that's where she stays. I don't think a tsunami could knock her off of it when she gets up there. She just digs in her claws and hangs on.

And what would a post of mine be without a good brag about how much food I can eat? Well, it wouldn't be a post at all. This weekend I ordered the Santa Fe breakfast from Ricki's all day grill. 3 potato pancakes, 3 eggs, bacon and two pieces of toast. I ate it all. I've never eaten it all before. If you haven't eaten breakfast at Ricki's just go. You can thank me for it later...preferably by taking me out for breakfast. And then you too can think about potato pancakes all day and all night.

That's about all I've got because I have done nothing but work. And when I'm not working I sit around dreading working.

My Pister

2006-10-27T12:22:00.000-06:00

Becktron says:
k
Becktron says:
bye for now
Becktron says:
talk to you during the boys naps
Becktron says:
hey
ANGTRON says:
stay strong sista!
Becktron says:
i love you today
ANGTRON says:
lol
Becktron says:
dont know why
Becktron says:
but i miss you
Becktron says:
and i live you
Becktron says:
love you
Becktron says:
lots
ANGTRON says:
love you too
ANGTRON says:
k
Becktron says:
im all crying
Becktron says:
lol
ANGTRON says:
stop it!
Becktron says:
later whore
ANGTRON says:
call g
ANGTRON says:
bye slut
Becktron says:
there thats better
ANGTRON says:
lol

Sometimes, I think about death too much. I know, not what you were expecting my first post to be. I think about what I would do if someone from my family died. Lots of times when I think about this I'm in my car driving. This may be because for some odd reason I have always thought that if I end up dying early it will be in a car accident on the highway. I always wonder if my tire will fall off and I will loose control, what would happen? So, that leads me to thinking about other people dying. Me and Becky have had this conversation about how we would die before and realised that we both had the same "premonition" which totally freaks me out. And also we have said that we should then never take any long car trips alone together at all. Because maybe fate is just waiting for us to be together in the car. You know, kill two birds with one stone.

I have lots of opinions about Becky and what would happen if she died.

One. I think Becky is the glue. I think she holds our family together. Not all by herself but I do think she plays a huge roll in it. To me she is one of the first people to initiate functions and she's one of the first people to offer to do all the work to make these functions happen. I wonder what if she died? Would we all be brought together as much? I don't know. That's a hard thing to answer. I just know that she goes out of her way to make things happen.

Two. She knows me. She understands me I think better than anyone does. I can say anything to her and she understands or at least will try to. She knows that in order to have a confrontation with me she has to lock me in a room and literally physically restrain me from trying to leave and avoid it. She owes me more pops than I can count for thinking and writing the same things on MSN at the same time. She knows about my over exposure to people issues, and my dislike for the phone issues and any other quirk I might have. What would I do if there was no one that knew me this good? I think I would be lost.

Three. No one understands my humor and no one thinks I'm really that funny. Who thinks chakans is funny? Me and Becky. Who thinks pranking the Brick when they called our house was funny? Me and Becky. Who would think that making signs and going to Telemiracle to get on TV would be funny? Me and Becky. Who would write on the back of their "Where are we going? Higher!" signs "I'm with stupid" and think it would be funny to flip them over when the camera scanned on us at Telemiracle? Me and Becky. Who would think running in puddles and swimming in flooded streets of Yorkton is funny? Me and Becky. Who would think eating only baby corns for a meal like they were corn on the cobs at Bonanza was funny? Me and Becky. Who would get all my inside jokes and understand the things I want to be understood in my blogs and notice the things that no one else would notice like "I just swallowed my gum"? Becky.

Four. This is a big one. Who would like all the exact same TV shows as me? No one. Who would I discuss BB with? No one that would want to listen that's for sure. Would understand why Meridith is so annoying on Grey's anatomy? Who would be able to relate everything on TV with what happens in real life with me? No one.

Five. Becky is always there. She's there when you are happy and when you are sad. She helps whenever she can and doesn't ask for much in return. She puts herself out there with her emotions and admits her faults more honestly than anyone I know. Even, if admitting those things might make her more vulnerable to people. She feels more compassion then I ever could. When bad things happen to other people she feels more emotion for the situation of others and anyone I know. She is not afraid to say when she is displeased but never does it in a hurtful or accusing way. She's a good mom and an honest mom. She won't even put her kids to bed without making sure their socks match their pj's. Most of all she tells me what she thinks. When I don't know what I'm doing and I ask her what she thinks she isn't afraid to say how she feels about it. She gives good advice and I wish many days that I was more like her than myself.

When I'm with her I feel more like myself then even when I'm alone. I long to see her and when I do its always the best.

The perfect sister, I know I am not. But I am thankful for the perfect one I got.

“For there is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather, to cheer one on the tedious way, to fetch one if one goes astray, to lift one if one totters down, to strengthen whilst one stands.”

Christina G. Rossetti

Just a Few Things

2006-10-25T09:14:00.000-06:00

This weekend I went to see Flag's of Our Father's with Dad and Jonny at the new Galaxy Theater. It's pretty cool in there. I've never been to a nice theater like this before. I didn't really enjoy the 30 minutes of commercials and previews in order to make it to the actual movie. So, next time I will be arriving late and not even fashionably late. Just.....late. But the new fun theater has renewed my desire to go see a movie occasionally. I like that I don't have to cross my fingers every time I see a human mammoth pass in front of me. "Please don't sit in front of me...." *Crosses fingers, eyes, legs and arms. I also like that the seats recline and and there's much more room. That way I don't have to cross my fingers every time I see a human stink bomb machine reeking of sweat and farts coming toward me down the isle. "Please don't sit by me......" *Grabs purse and popcorn getting ready to migrate to the other side of theater. Theaters in general stress me out but I like the whole sound of the music starting up and the lights dimming. Oh wait scratch that. Now there is just the loud noise of commercials. Lots and lots of commercials.

Monday, I dropped Shyla off for her surgery. The vet had a quick look at her before I left. He tried to look at her leg but she had none of that. Turned around and bit him hard. Bleeding hard. His response: "Oh no, my pretty we can't have that" followed by a swift needle in the neck full of sedative. Sigh, my poor cat.

I picked her up yesterday after work. They called my house once and called me at work twice. I was supposed to pick her up at 2pm but pushed it back till 4pm. The whole ordeal came to under 800 which is almost half of what some places were quoting me. She was surprisingly happy to be home and crawled all over me purring. This surprised me because I thought for sure she would be full of hate by now. The medicine has not ended though. Yes, she's on the pain patch but they also want me to give her pain medicine once a day and antibiotics twice a day. These ones don't make her foam at the mouth though. Libby really likes the antibiotics. I have to pretty careful about that. Satan the druggie. She has her whole leg shaved and her two front paws shaved. She also has a part on her chest area shaved where the patch is that is wrapped in a sticky band so it doesn't fall off. She looks like shit. I cringe looking at her little front paws all bruised from the IV and anaesthesia. Then I look at her little swollen back leg and cringe even more. She has a lamp shade that I put on her "just for kicks" yesterday. I'm hoping she will leave her stitches alone and I won't have to use it. I took pictures. I will post them later.

Monday night I went to aqua boxercise. I will never attend again. The term I so lovingly decided to give the aerobics instructor was "Aqua Nazi". Occasionally I would bob over to Mellisa and say "Is this the most boring class you've ever been too?" "She sucks". I actually can't believe I was so bored. She didn't do anything exciting just the same moves over and over. She would demo a kick once and then nothing. Silence. No "keep it up....almost there". While demonstrating she almost fell a couple times which made me giggle. We were then brought to the edge of the pool to do some chin ups. There was some poor overweight girl the aqua Nazi decided to yell at to pull herself up. All I could see was her poor little fingers gripping up onto the edge of the pool. When the Nazi wasn't looking I would slip a leg up onto the ledge and hold myself up secretly so I wouldn't get yelled at. She yelled something at me once. She screamed over her microphone and I said "What!" and I think she thought I didn't want to do the exercise and she yelled at me. I actually meant "What! I can't understand what you are saying because you frickin scream and mumble and I'm so used to doing the same exercise over and over I actually didn't think you were going to do anything else for the rest of the hour". I then responded with a Heile Hitler and made fun of her some more to Mellisa who at the end of the class was thinking that she wishes she could get her money back. I also kind of have a hard time taking instruction from a person who demos and then stands around not doing the exercise. I also have a hard time taking instruction from someone I consider to be in better shape than. Yes, I know this sounds snotty but sometimes I am a little snotty.

This basically catches me up on my week. That is all. Thank you and come again.

Burn Baby Burn!

2006-10-23T21:50:00.000-06:00

I love CSI Miami. Say what you want about Horratio Fellatio, but I say he frickin rocks. As he was walking away from that car I said out loud to myself....

"Wait for it.....Wait....."

Voila!

Burn baby burn.

The Look Of Love

2006-10-21T17:06:00.001-06:00

Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible.

Roger A. Caras

The Mutha Of All Emails

2006-10-20T12:14:00.000-06:00

I got this in my email today.

This is for you Becky

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258Th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I can't enjoy a good Latte from Starbucks anymore because they WOULD NOT send any coffee to that poor Army Sgt. who requested it.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer worry about sudden cardiac arrest, since I can now cough myself back to life instead of wasting time calling 911.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use any one's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given u s. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician, who is a lawyer.

Anxiety Apprehension Cold Feet Consternation Dismay Distress Dread Fear Fright Horror Nervousness Panic Trepidation Unease Stress Tension

2006-10-19T10:36:00.000-06:00

"Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained."

Arthur Somers Roche

I have reached a new peak in my imagination. I actually thought today that what if the Vet just pretends to do the surgery. Makes a cut, stitches it back up and doesn't actually fix it. The suture they use he described as being like really strong fishing line. How strong is fishing line? It seems so flimsy. I was then told "Angela, don't be silly. Have you ever tried to break fishing line?" Then I tried to picture some giant fish getting hooked and towed in and tried to tell myself "Yeah that's pretty strong". Its not working. Why can't they use cement or something. Oh wait, cement cracks. Just something so strong that no matter what you used you couldn't cut it or snap it.

I have had a nervous pit in my stomach for 4 straight days and it's getting worse. I'm not sure if it's the dread of having to give her medicine 3 times a day or if it's actual concern for my cat. It does get worse right before the regular scheduled dose occurs. Yesterday morning, after our huge battle that resulted in two nice fang marks in between my thumb I gave up and sat and cried. Full out sobs shaking my whole body hugging her and begging her to please just let me give her the medicine. Her response at that point was....Foam....and then more foam combined with a loud lip smacking noise. Then I sat her down and she hissed at me.

She doesn't want to come out of her crate. I'm sure it's because she knows if she comes out she will get medicine. I open the door and she just lays there and stares at me and meows. The other thing is how healthy is it to sit in a dark crate all day and all night? I have to cover the front with a blanket or else she digs and pushes on the door. So, she is in darkness all day and all night. This reminds me of that movie where that guy is in solitary at Alcatraz for 3 years. I wonder how long it took him to go crazy? I sure hope it wasn't a month. I want to try and set something up so I can put her small crate up on something by a window so she can look outside. My cat's whole life revolves around looking out a window. This in itself is sad. Now I have taken away her one past time.

Libby is still holding her grudge. This morning I had Shyla laying on her blanket on the floor of my bedroom. I must not have shut the door all the way. Next thing I hear is Libby spazzing out growling. I came around the corner and she was standing over top of Shyla pounding the top of her head with her paw as fast as she could. Shyla just layed there with her eyes closed. She is also sleeping on the very top of the condo. She always had to sleep on the second level because Shyla always had the top.

I also have to think about how I am going to build ramps up to everything that I think she will try and jump up and down on. I know I need one to the cat condo, to the window and onto my bed.

My only peace of mind is that Kad comes now to help me give her medicine. I wrap her tightly in a towel, put her in a head lock with one arm and squeeze open her mouth with my other hand. Kad holds the medicine dropper and shoots it into the back of her throat. We've had 3 successful doses so far only resulting in one fang puncture. I still cried yesterday after, but not for as long.

She also must not have been able to get a good position in the litter box this morning because she came out with clumps stuck to the bottom of her foot and down the back of her legs. She's frickin furry and also scared of water. Now, not only does she stink bad, have foam fur, medicine fur, she also has piss and litter all over her.

So, I worry that its not going to get better. I worry that she will regress back into being that scared cat again. I worry that she is in pain. I worry about her being in that crate for 3 weeks. I worry about Shyla and Satan being friends again. It just doesn't stop. I wish this feeling in my stomach would just go away but it won't.

I am definitely not feeling assurance, calm, composure, nonchalance or temerity.

Not Steaming Mad.....FOAMING MAD

2006-10-16T13:35:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, today and probably the next month will be very sad days for me. Actually, probably for the rest of my cat Shyla's existence I will feel twinges of sadness when I look at her. I will also feel guilt.

Yesterday, Shyla tried to jump up onto her Kitty Condo and then up to the window ledge. This is only about waste height. She missed, she misses often and when she does miss, I laugh. She usually falls, looks sheepish and tries again. This time, I laughed and then she started rolling on the ground screaming a loud high pitched scream in pain trying to get up. This is when Libby came flying around the corner to see what is going on. Shlya freaked and hissed and screamed and a cat fight progressed to under the couch. Not one of those, ha ha funny cat fights that they do on a regular basis. This was "I'm going to kill you and eat you slowly to enjoy it" cat fight. I broke that up and shoved Libby into a room and came to check on Shyla. She was hissing and howling and hobbled into the kitchen falling over and peeing as she went. Now, I'm in full out hysteria of sobs and panic for my poor cat following her and wiping up pee and she goes. She finally gave up and layed down on the floor panting in pain and meowing a horrible long drawn out meow. I called the vet who put me through to the Small Animal Clinic at the U of S. Then I called my parents and a long list of other people. They came in to pick me up. I don't know what I would have done if they didn't come. While walking in along the sidewalk there was blood droplets from some other poor animal all the way along and inside to the reception. This was not something I wanted to see at that moment. It doesn't sit well and it feels like you are going into a place where your pet won't come out. It was there all day. Lots of blood. ALL DAY.

The whole waiting process went on forever with my poor sweet Shyla wrapped in a blanket panting in pain. She couldn't get examined because it was too painful so they had to sedate her in order to get x-rays and a proper exam. They tried, she fought back and tried to bite, so they put a face muzzle on her and she still fought. I'm glad I didn't see it and her pain because I think it would have pushed me over the edge right into a straight jacket.

This is her report:

History: Shyla presented to the WCVM Veterinary Teaching Hospital after and incident of falling and confrontation with a housemate (you may recognize "housemate" as Satans Spawn or whatever choice words people have for Libby). She was then non weight bearing on her right hind leg.

Physical Exam Findings: Shyla was bright and her vital parameters were within normal limits. Her heart and lungs sounded normal. Drawer sign and cranial tibial thrust were elicited on the right hind limb.

Laboratory/Medical Imagine Findings: x-rays of right hind limb - No abnormal findings.

Summary of Case Management: Shyla objected to manipulation and palpation of her right hind leg, and so sedation was required in order to take X-rays and do a thorough examination. A small amount of blood was collected for a basic check before sedation. The results of the emergency panel were within normal limits. Shyla was then sedated. Cranial drawer sign and cranial tibial thrust was elicited on the right hind limb, indicating the the cranial cruciate ligament was ruptured.

Diagnosis: Right Cranial Cruciate Ligament Rupture

Recommended Treatment/Management: The recommended treatment for cranial cruciate ligament rupture is surgical repair. the procedure is called extracapsular lateral imbrication and involves placing a strong suture through the top of the tibia (lower leg bone) and around the back of the femur (upper leg bone). You have indicated that surgical repair is not feasible for you. (in other words I can't afford it but if anyone is feeling generous and has a spare 2000 kicking around that they would like to give away please let me know)

Conservative treatment involves rest so that Shyla's leg can heal. She should be kept in her crate: she can be let out to use the litter box a few times a day. Please keep the litter box close to her so that she doesn't have to go far to get to it. Food and water should also be kept close so that she uses her sore leg as little as possible to allow for healing. After 3 weeks of strict kennel rest, she can be confined to one room, with as little opportunity to jump up and down as possible. After a month of this confinement, she can then return to more freedom, but please remember that her knee will not be as strong, and that she should be prevented as much as possible from jumping up onto tables and beds, ect.

Medications: Tramadol - a pain medication. Please give 0.2ml by mouth three times a day for the next 10 days. If Shyla vomits, has diarrhea, goes off her food, or becomes lethargic, discontinue the medication and contact a veterinarian.

Thank-you for bringing Shyla to see us. She is a very sweet little cat and we have enjoyed working with her. We hope she feels better soon. If you have any further question or concerns, please don't hesitate to call us.

This will be Shyla's existence for the next three weeks:

There's enough room for a small litter box, some food and a matt for her to lay down on. She hates it. I fear I will injure her more trying to get her into the crate. Shyla on her best day will fight like her life is ending if you try and put her into one of these. She fights just as hard on her bad days too. I also have to wrestle her to get the pain killer down her throat. The vet was not lying when she said they don't like the taste. She literally started foaming at the mouth and spitting and coughing and twitching and flailing her head all over. This sent thick foam all over the place. I honestly thought I was killing her. I've never seen anything like it. Then I had to fight to get her into the crate. I stayed up all night long listening to Libby cry at my bedroom door and Shyla trying to dig out of her crate and crying in pain. So, I gave in and sat up on my bed for 2 hours last night with poor Shyla on my lap sleeping. She settled down enough that I could put her back in for a couple hours this morning. She still won't eat anything but Tuna juice this morning. She was so high last night that she didn't even notice it. I hope that when I come home she has ate more and drank some water and gone to the bathroom. If she hasn't I might have another vet bill on my hands in the near future.

This is Shyla Foaming mad at me:

That is foam. A small portion of foam that has been spewed across my bedroom. And she stinks. Not only did she pee, she puked at the vet and now the wet smelly foam is all down the front of her furry little chest turning into a big matt of fur. I also think that cats in fear start sweating or something because she smells really bad.

Libby aka Spawn of Satan has decided to hold a grudge about the death fight and will growl and hiss and leap at the crate if she can get to it. She will also bolt across the room at her to try and kill her.

I've been doing some reading on line and she will probably have a limp and will develop really bad arthritis. If she had surgery it would prevent her from hurting it again but she would develop arthritis as well just not as bad and not as soon. I wish there was something I can do. I wish there was some kind of brace to keep her leg in one spot so she can't use it and I wouldn't be terrified of hurting her when I try and give her medication. It makes me cry.

My poor little Shyla. She's the nicest cat. She's always been gentle and quiet and rarely gets into trouble. She is always nervous and scared of people and it has taken me a long time to get her to trust me and now I'm scared she will never be the same again. I've had her for about 8 years and she's always held a little soft spot in every one's hearts because she always seems so fragile and timid. I just wish I had the money to fix her. I'm over tired, over emotional, stressed out and broke. I am also broken hearted.

The Dove Self-Esteem Fund

2006-10-13T13:32:00.000-06:00

Click on me

I love Dove. I love their adds. Sometimes they make me almost cry. Almost. I got this video sent to me.

I've received a few videos and pictures of models and famous people being touched up for magazines in my emails. For a small instant I get great satisfaction in seeing all these pretty people caught in their worst moments. I know they aren't really totally real. I know. But for some reason knowing this and seeing it right in front of me doesn't change the way I think. Maybe its too late for me. Every one has their thing. The thing they just can't stand about themselves. Even the prettiest girls have them. And even though I look at some pretty girl complaining about something and I think "What the heck does she have to complain about? Seriously?" I have to remind myself that even though I might not see it and I might not take it seriously, it's real to her. I wish things were different. I wish we all didn't feel so crappy about ourselves and say the crap that we say in our heads. Mostly I wish that things would get easier for all the little girls growing up out there. The sad thing is that its just going to get worse. Maybe I would believe these if it was actually happening to me and I got to see myself transformed. Probably not.

Analyze This

2006-10-13T12:22:00.000-06:00

In sleep, fantasy takes the form of dreams. But in waking life, too, we continue to dream beneath the threshold of consciousness, especially when under the influence of repressed or other unconscious complexes.
"Problems of Modern Psychotherapy" (1929). In CW 16: The Practice of Psychotherapy. pg. 125

I'm walking through the mall with my friend Syd(1). We are walking around having a totally fantastic time shopping. We have tonnes of bags from wonderful stores. As we ride down the escalator his shoulder bumps into my glasses. My Gucci glasses(2). They break in three different spots. I'm scrambling around picking up pieces. We run to Optika to get them fixed. While we wait we sit in the food court eating Taco Time. The whole time he has a blob of salsa on his chin and I don't say anything about it. I go to check on my glasses and they tell me they are done and it will be 63 dollars. I hand them my debit card and try and pay. It comes back saying denied and to call the bank ASAP. So they call the bank and tell me that they can't process my payment because I have a cold sore(3). I'm completely embarrassed and ask if I can speak to them so I can tell them that I wouldn't have the cold sore if I hadn't lost my cold sore medication and please please please let me have my glasses anyways and it will never happen again. I will make sure to have my medication next time(4).

(1) Syd is my most favorite ex boyfriend from High School. We had fun times and turned into friends. I look back with fond memories. Once, at his house I was sitting on his shoulders in his kitchen (I don't remember why we just always did stupid goofy stuff together) and I was laughing and I let one rip. It was loud. He threw me off and ran outside totally mortified. I bet he has some deep hidden secret pain from that ordeal. He also used to crack my toes for me all the time. That's how we became friends at work. I would take my smelly work shoe off and he would actually crack my stinky toes for me. He also took Annie to a doll show once.

(2) I spent a lot of money on these glasses and I'm paranoid about them breaking all the time.

(3) I do indeed have a cold sore. What I don't have is the 40 dollar prescription to get rid of my cold sore. I spend over an hour last night ripping my place apart looking for it. I loath cold sores. Good thing I have a doctors appointment tomorrow because I have to get another tiny tube.

(4) Once I was so desperate to get rid of a cold sore that I went to minor emergency and sat there for an hour amidst sick people who actually needed to see the doctor for better reasons than my vanity. I told him I wanted something now and I want it to work like yesterday. So he gives me 6 boxes with two pills in each box. He tells me they are for actual Herpes (the kind you get from being a slutty whore like Joyce). He tells me they are very strong and to only take half of one when I feel a cold sore coming on. They will upset my stomach. I get home and take 2 and put the rest away for another emergency coldsoredectomy. They sit there in a drawer for a very long time. Forgotten about. My sister comes to visit and stays at my place while I am away. She finds the Herpes medication and is devastated thinking I've got real Herpes. It all gets sorted out in the end after an uncomfortable question she just had to ask and felt just awful asking. If you must know....they worked like a charm. They are all gone and my doctor won't give them to me. So, I told him to give me the most expensive best working thing he can think of. The smallest 40 dollar tube you'll ever see.

Tag Lines

2006-10-13T10:21:00.000-06:00

There are good tag lines, bad tag lines, confusing tag lines and no tag lines. Some work wonders, others act as a prison or a tax you have to pay. But the task of making less really be more, of really communicating your positioning, aspirations, culture and attributes – current and future – is a very, very tough one and one that may just as easily lead you astray.

I am one of those people that are lead around making decisions on movies and books by the tag lines on the front. If I am not dragged in by the front of a movie I don't rent it. It's really a hit and miss approach but I can't change. My post about The Grudge is one small example. They suck me in and I can't stop thinking about them until I have ran out and bought/rented it. Movie previews when the tag line scrolls across the screen and a man's deep voice comes on telling me my life will be changed forever if I watch this movie. I'm convinced.

I am on the Costco website looking at books and found this one:

"My Heart Is Afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself, and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams."

The Alchemist
by Paulo Coelho
Now, I want it. I want it so bad that I would overlook the fact that the book is hard cover. I hate hard cover books. I like to wreck my book and bend it and fold it and insert strange bookmarks in it. Basically whatever I find at the moment I need a bookmark. Pens, hair clips, other books.....I even once used a dirty sock. Laying on my couch I have a habit of removing my socks and leaving them there mixed up in my throw for days. When I can't find any socks I go looking for them in my couch and bed sheets. One was there within arms reach and I couldn't see anything else so I used it. You can't do this with hard cover books. I have to much respect for them. They look nice and they cost more. The only exception to the rule is my Frank McCourt books. Those are treated with more respect than you would give your own mother after she saved your life by dragging you from a burning building.

Two other ones that caught my eye:

Dispatches from the Edge: A Memoir of War, Disasters, and Survival by Anderson Cooper

Night by Elie Wiesel

The only thing holding me back from the trio is that Stupid Oprah sticker on the front. Good thing there's an older cover that doesn't have that sticker. I treat those Oprah Book Club stickers like they would turn to acid and burn my finger off if I touched it. My dislike for that woman is higher than Becky's dislike for Yorkton drivers.

Other ones include:

As Good As It Gets - A comedy from the heart that goes for the throat.

Big Fish - An adventure as big as life itself. How can you resist?

Contact - A message from deep space. Who will be the first to go? A journey to the heart of the universe.

High Fidelity - From the guys who brought you Grosse Pointe Blank. That's all the quote I need.

Interview With a Vampire - Drink from me and live forever.

Man on Fire - Revenge is a meal best served cold.

Now, take a look at my side picture on my blog. Who wouldn't want to read my blog after seeing that tag line? Hold me back.

2006-10-13T08:56:00.001-06:00

Your Monster Profile

Creepy Cannibal

You Feast On: Fried Chicken

You Lurk Around In: The Hearts of Men

You Especially Like to Torment: British People

What's Your Monster Name?

Gay

2006-10-08T02:09:00.000-06:00

Did I mention that I've always thought Pierce Brosnan runs like a fag. Like a girl wearing a skirt? No, I haven't. But I am now.

Boy is he ever gay.

Phew!

2006-10-08T02:06:00.000-06:00

I just got home in the nick of time. James Bond movie just started playing. Its 2am. The nick of time. I can't even believe my luck. I would like to call someone and tell them about how close I was to missing it but I can't because it's 2am. I've had too many Pink Grapefruits. What? no. yeyah.

Can I say nick of time again, or would that be pushing it?

Seriously

2006-10-06T08:20:00.000-06:00

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. ~William Dement

Last night I thought for sure I was going to have horrible dreams. The Grudge 2 previews are playing all the time on TV now. This movie has haunted me more than any movie I have ever seen. When I was on my max I would have to close my eyes and scroll past it so I wouldn't have to look at the picture of the cover on my TV screen.

I had dreams about it.

Horrible gut wrenching dreams.

One, I was coaching cheerleading in Martensville. The stage was all closed off and the matts were up there so we decided to run practise on the stage. All is well until all the lights in the gym shut off. I think to myself, some stupid boys got into the school and turned off the lights. I walk down the stairs, the gym in still illuminated by the red exit sign lights. I hear this noise. A weird crackling back of the throat noise. If you've seen the movie or watched the previews you will know what I'm talking about. I look towards the sound and in the middle of the gym is that girl with the long black hair hunched over with her hair covering her face. See pulls her head up hard and her hair flips back and those eyes settle on me. She starts screaming and doing that weird crawling thing like a lizard that she does towards the stage door. I run up to the stage and the girls ask what is going on. At that instant all the stage lights shut off and there are girls running around screaming and bumping into each other. This is where I wake up in a sweat with butterflies in my stomach, so scared I can't move.

Two, I was Emco cleaning the offices on a late winter night. The whole warehouse was empty. I was all alone. Almost finished the cleaning, I was packing up and called for my ride to come pick me up.

*Up to this point actually did happen the night that I had the dream. I think what triggered this was when Mike Robson knew I was cleaning all alone he would call work and make that weird throat noise on the phone to try and scare me. It worked every time. Sometimes it would work so well that I would actually leave in the middle of cleaning and finish the next day*

I remembered that I had forgot to clean the mirrors in the bathrooms. There were 4. I went to the 1st mirror. As I was wiping away the Windex I saw an image go across the mirror behind me. I sluff it off. Thinking it's just the streaks in the mirror as I wipe. Go to the second, same thing. Third, I didn't see anything. Whew, it was all just in my head. Then I went to do the 4Th and final mirror. Again, I saw the image. This time I knew it was something. I ran out of the bathroom and I saw the figure run to the back of the warehouse. This is where I developed super power sight and could see through all the walls in the building to the back of the warehouse where it was running around. I yelled "I can see you! I can see you!" It stopped, looked at me with those eyes. I had run to the front door hoping and praying that my ride would come and save me. Then it started running from the back of the warehouse to the front. This is when my super power sight suddenly went away. I went around the corner into the boardroom and it was standing on the other side of the room. I yell at it again "I can see you!" It starts running at me. I yell again "I can see you, you mother fucker!" I wake up. Sitting straight up yelling. Then I cried.

I am not sure why this movie has bothered me so much. I watch scary movies all the time. I like getting scared. I'm easily scared. I can almost believe anything that happens and I get sucked in very easy. Problem with this movie is that I actually really believe that the theory behind this movie is true.

When someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage... a curse is born. The curse gathers in that place of death. Those who encounter it will be consumed by its fury.

I just had to go to the web site to get this quote. The things I do for this blog is mind bloggling. You want to be scared? Go see for yourself.

Where was I? Right. I thought I was going to have horrible dreams last night. I slept on my couch in preparation for it with the TV going and the lights on. Boy was I wrong. I had one of those dreams that after you wake up you try desperately to fall back asleep in order to continue on. It didn't work.

Last night I was taking a boxing class from someone who looks kinda like this

I was on some army base. Yeah. I know. Lucky! As I'm taking tips from my instructor we move in closer. And you know in the movies when they zoom in on two people who's faces are so close to kissing and they start spinning around on the screen as if to imply that the whole world is disappearing? Yeah like that. Up close to this.

So anyways, we are interrupted by some chaos on the base. Turns out some terrorists have trapped some people in a giant cargo plane that they started on fire. We run together to the plane. I grab his giant army knife from his hands and without even thinking twice I run into the burning plane and start cutting people free. I come out with my face covered in black scum from the fire but I still manage to look like a super model. I become a hero facing a raging fire to save the lives of strangers. And he has this look on his face like you are so frickin hot and he's walking towards me in that army walk way looking like this.

Then I wake up. And he's not finished walking towards me. So I lay there trying to pick up where I left off but it didn't work. Sigh. Now I'm left wondering what could have happened.

Step Level 2

2006-10-05T11:13:00.000-06:00

“If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius” Larry Leissner

At least a genuis at Step Aerobics anyways.

Last night I wanted to go to an aerobics class. My motivation to actually go to the gym and lift weights and be creative in my workout is very low. The next best thing is to go to an aerobics class. This way I'm forced to to the work out because I'm surrounded by strangers and the opinion of strangers matters to me. This is why I should have stuck with Step Level 1. Step 1 is all about step up and step down, bring a knee up every now and then, march around your stepper a little bit and now lets have a nice long cool down. Good times. I'm a rockstar in Step 1.

Step Level 2 - all done with a confused mouth half open dumb look on face with the occasional giggle because I can't believe I am actually this bad. Thinking in head the whole time "Left foot Ang, Left foot! How can you still not know left from right? Idiot!"

Revolve Door - Right foot on bench, cross over, turning your body as you go, to face opposite direction.

My Revolving Door - Run around the step to the other side because you know that revolving door involves you getting to the other side of the step and maybe you can join back in if you just run around the step. Run you idiot run!

Repeter Knee - pretty straight forward. I like this one, once I get the right knee going I can do this one forever.

Straddle Lunges - somehow get ontop of the step facing sideways then straddle the step and then start doing lunges up and down one on each side. Sounds confusing? I know.

My Straddle Lunges - Just stand on top of the step wait and see which what to face, turn that way now maybe I can get in one lunge by this time and, ok, now its time for the next confusing move.

Lunges - Stand on step facing the front and lunge.

My Lunges - Once I have the right foot going, I can do these forever. However, slamming your foot down onto the loud hollow step to get the right foot going in sequence with everyone else is key. I make sure to make this as loud as possible so everyone looks over checking to see who fell.

X Step - I actually looked this one up. The directions say "Just step and X". Here is the web site that you can find all the step moves.

My X Step - If I can start with the right foot and I'm directly behind the instructor I can sometimes pull this off. Typically, I step wrong spend a while trying to catch back on which totally screws me for the next moves.

L Step - Step up on step, step down on the side of the step, then back up and back to the begining.<;BR< span>>
My L Step - I like the L step when I focus on which side to go on I can do this one.

There were many more. I know these seem pretty basic but the whole time she would say "Now, if you want to make it more advance you and turn and twist and kick and jump" Then she does this fancy L Step with some kind of mambo move and I am staring at her, so my body starts to follow but I have no clue where she is going. Then I have to run back to the step and figure out what's happening next. I am a pillar of grace and style and co-ordination.

Since I spent the whole time not actually doing all the steps I didn't really get that tired and I didn't get much of a work out. My back feels a little stiff, probably from all the tension and focus.

I have learnt my lesson. No more advanced Step 2. At least not until I get some more practise. Where's my cats?

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

2006-10-04T15:45:00.000-06:00

I am looking for a blogger friend. If you want to be one let me know.

My sister has a blogger friend. Not fair. Right now she is building her a special map to her house so she can pop in for a visit while driving through town. Oh, some witty little map on Word Paint Shop I bet with funny drawings and stuff. Trying to impress her new blogger friend with how funny and witty and charming she is. I can do that. Just give me the chance.

Sambot.....if you are out there, and you read this please be my new blogger friend.

It's not that hard people......

2006-09-29T11:52:00.001-06:00

For Saskatoon drivers, what goes around comes around
Last Updated: Friday, September 22, 2006 | 6:09 PM CT
CBC News
Although roundabouts have baffled Saskatoon motorists before, the city has decided to give them another try.

The city recently created a new roundabout — a kind of intersection merry-go-round designed to move traffic efficiently — at the bottom of the newly renovated Victoria Street Bridge.

They're common in Edmonton and other Canadian cities, although not in Saskatchewan.

Twenty years ago, a traffic circle was removed at a major Saskatoon intersection because it had the highest accident rate in the city.

After more than a decade, drivers still couldn't figure out how to get through it safely.

"We would suspect the problem is that some people are yielding while others aren't," said city infrastructure manager Stew Uzelman.<;;;;;BR< span>>
To avoid history repeating itself, the city has put out brochures to explain how it works.

However, it appeared a few motorists CBC spoke to earlier this week were still struggling to make head or tails of the new setup.

"First instinct, to go in a circle I guess," said Harry Prokopiw.<;;;;;BR< span>>
Source: City of Saskatoon"I think you always merge to the people on your right on that traffic circle. I think," added Herb Mueller.

"The person that gets there first on the right goes first," Karen Gesy said as she prepared to negotiate the circle. "Yeah, you go around like that."

The city's instructions for the roundabout are available online at www.saskatoon.ca. People can also phone the city to be talked through it. Uzelman said he's confident people will eventually be able to figure it out.

"All you're faced with is a yield sign," he said. "Just behave as you normally would at any yield sign and you'll be fine."

Every morning the traffic around the most rediculous roundabout I've ever seen is getting worse and worse. Saskatoon is just far too stupid to handle something this complex. What will be the number one cause of accidents this winter? This roundabout and the absolute idiots driving in it. And I say this in the nicest possible way. First its headsets on 16 year old hostess' in Moxie's that are so unnecessary it makes me chuckle and now a roundabout in frickin Saskatoon.

Next. Why is it impossible to reserve a nice table for two in Saskatoon anymore? I called the Keg and they don't do reservations on Friday's and Saturday's anymore. What is wrong with this city and doing this now? You can't reserve frickin tables. Why do I have to sit for half an hour outside? I know they are trying to fill the tables and make more money. Its so frustrating. If people are dumb enough to show up at a nice restaurant and not have a reservation that's their problem. Why do I have to sit and suffer with them now too? All I want is a frickin table for two and I don't want to sit on a bench for 30 minutes smelling the food in a lobby full of dirty people coughing, bumping into me and touching me. Knowing my luck I would get stuck by some drunk dirty old man. I'm so sick of it. I really want to swear right now. I hate this city. Let's get rid of reservations, cram some headsets on some zit covered teens and call ourselves sophisticated anyway.

And please, don't start trying to recommend places for me to go out and eat. Because chances are I don't want to go, or I can't get a reservation.

Find a penny, pick it up.....

2006-09-29T10:31:00.000-06:00

Operation Penny

Subject: Mike (Quite possibly the happiest person I work with. Happier than me if that's even possible)

Mission: Crazy glue pennies to tile on the floor infront of my desk. The target subject has an obsession with picking pennies. He must be low on luck. Capture subject on camera in a fit of rage.

Objective: Drive subject crazy. Pass the day.

Help

2006-09-26T20:37:00.000-06:00

My house is a mess. I haven't done dishes in three days and I can't stop watching Grey's Anatomy Season 1 and 2. I don't really need to do dishes because almost everything I have been eating is junk food. It's mostly just popcorn bowls and spitz bowls. I also have lowered myself into drinking iced tea at home again. Please, send someone.

I also think my suite is haunted.

No big deal compared to how horrible my stomach feels right at this moment.

Oranges - The Unpredictable Fruit

2006-09-22T10:33:00.000-06:00

I hate buying oranges. I hate eating them. I love the taste but you just never know what you're going to get. I have rarely bought an orange that tastes good. Maybe there's some secrect skill or trick that I don't know. Truth is most of my fruit I buy rock hard and unripe. That's how I like it. Besides orange juice never lets me down so why bother getting your finger nails all full of orange peel? Oranges I've given up on as of today.

Today I ate and orange that had 25 seeds in it. 25. Seriously.

There's a cricket in the office and it's driving me nuts.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke

2006-09-20T12:35:00.000-06:00

Last night I slept with Ben. I'm staying at mom and dad's with Becky and sleeping with Ben so he sleeps good and she doesn't have to worry about it when Sam wakes up crying. A small taste of a parents life. I can't imagine.

I am a lone sleeper and I like sleeping like a baby. I like sleeping alone and can hardly ever share beds. On cheerleading trips I would always ask for a cot so I wouldn't have to share. So lets just say I got no sleep. Ben likes to be close. So close that he gets all hot and sweaty. And so, the pattern began. Ben would move close, I would pick him up and move him back, followed by some sleepy noises and then his hand would move up to twiddle his hair. At one moment, I was wide awake after moving him over AGAIN and suddenly felt a hand swat me in the face and then slowly move upward to my hair where he proceeded to twiddle my hair for a while. Moving in closer and closer until he was right on top of me twiddling my hair. I just couldn't help but laugh. He's so funny. So this begins the 3 nights of sleep overs. I think I've accepted the fact that I will probably get no sleep for the rest of the week. He's lucky that I love him so much. But then again how can you not?

I guess I don't mind.

Come on shake your body baby do the conga, I know you can't control yourselves and longer.

2006-09-19T16:26:00.000-06:00

If there is a word for beyond boredom (is that a word even?) I am experiencing it right now. I have spent a huge portion of my day have the above song in my head and looking at Brazil and Hawaii web sites wishing I could go do another marathon somewhere far away. I have also spent a good portion of my day closely inspecting my split ends. I need a hair cut so badly. What I like to so is find a split end and try and break it off or separate its ends as far as they will go up my strand of hair until one breaks off. I'm sure this is not the best thing to do and it probably makes my hair even more unhealthy but it really passes the time.

I'm totally starving but I don't feel like eating the bagel I brought.

Tonight I'm going to go stay at mom and dad's for the rest of the week to hang out with Becky during her visit. I just called to make sure they didn't show Ben the car Dad and Mom bought for him till I get there because I'm sure he's going to pee with excitement. And actual car that he can drive. Wow. I wish I had that when I was little.

I have nothing to write. I probably should just get back to inspecting my spilt ends. 32 more minutes to go and I haven't done one thing since 3:30pm. Why is it so slow? I better not complain too much or Tipsy will find some retarded job for me to do and then when it's busy I won't be able to get everything done. Or not.

I just swallowed my gum.